When I told DeLisa I was finished with the Shakespeare Lipograms after summarizing five plays, each restricted to using only a single vowel (A, E, I, O, U), she asked “What about Y?”. I assured her that I would be unable to do it. Now, I will prove it.

Please take this with a grain of salt, but here is a summary of The Tempest, told from Prospero’s point of view, using “Y” as the only vowel. I promise that I mean no offense to Gypsys or Pygmys, but I am using “gyp” in the dictionary sense to mean one who has cheated another, and “pygmy” in the non-dictionary sense as one who is native to an island.

And as long as I get to make up what words mean, I will also use the word “syzygy” to mean a general sense of forgiveness and the restoration of order, as might be symbolized by the aligning of celestial objects. Okay?

So here it is, my summary of The Tempest, using “Y” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Nymph Myth

 

Spy my gyps, spry Nymph? Fly by. Slyly stymy gyps dry.

Sylph, wryly pry why. Pygmy’s by.

Nymph, spy. Sylph, try shy tryst.

Myth’s hymns try rhythm.

Gyps, cry. Psych! Syzygy.

Nymph, fly!

The Original Five Lipograms

 

Henry IV, Part One: Hal and Falstaff at War, Part A

As You Like It: Between the Trees

Cymbeline: British King

Hamlet: Forlorn Son

Measure for Measure: Just, but Unjust

This is the fifth in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my final lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Dark Comedy (or Problem play), Measure for Measure, using “U” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Just, but Unjust

Full Dutch must run, but puts up Curt Sub. Curt Sub (plus Humdrum Guru) must run Full Dutch’s turf. Curt Sub shuns lust, thus Curst Slut must shut up smut hut. Lustful Stud plucks un-nupt Cub Mum. Curt Sub busts Lustful Stud plus Cub Mum, but must snuff just Lustful Stud. Such junk luck! Numbskull Cutup hunts trump club: Trustful Nun. Full Dutch trusts Curt Sub, but must cull turf hubbub. Thus, Full Dutch turns Untruthful Church Guy, lurks hushful.

Punchdrunk Fuzz busts Pub Bum plus Dumbstruck Chum, but Humdrum Guru chucks such dumb busts. Numbskull Cutup drums up Trustful Nun. Trustful Nun must churn up Curt Sub’s ruth, but just churns up Curt Sub’s lust! Curt Sub puts crux thus: Trustful Nun succumbs, Lustful Stud’s sprung; Trustful Nun puts up fuss, Lustful Stud’s hurt. Such scum! Trustful Nun burns up, must burst truthful lungs, but Curt Sub shuts such bluffs up. Turf bunch trusts Curt Sub such, Trustful Nun’s slurs must rust. Nuts!

Untruthful Church Guy (Full Dutch) lulls jug-thrust Lustful Stud. Trustful Nun unfurls Curt Sub’s crux. Lustful Stud puts up spurn, but blurts much flux, succumbs, puts thumbs up. Trustful Nun burns up. Untruthful Church Guy lulls Trustful Nun, curbs Lustful Stud’s pluck. Punchdrunk Fuzz busts Pub Bum. Numbskull Cutup busts up jug-thrust Pub Bum. Numbskull Cutup murmurs untruthful Full Dutch slurs, stuns Untruthful Church Guy. But Humdrum Guru tuts Curt Sub, must gush Full Dutch’s surplus.

Untruthful Church Guy drums up Curt Sub’s Ur-Crush. Ur-Crush turns Untruthful Trustful Nun, humps Curt Sub. Dusk plus untruthful duds tuck up bluff. Curt Sub buys hump bluff, but burns Trustful Nun, puts up bull: Jug Grunt must snuff Lustful Stud, Curt Sub must clutch Lustful Stud’s skull. Ugh!

Gruff Thug duns Pub Bum cut Lustful Stud’s scruff plus Drunk Grump’s. Untruthful Church Guy turns Jug Grunt; Lustful Stud puffs. Drunk Grump puts up much fuss. Flu-Struck Mug punts. Such luck! Thus, Jug Grunt blurs truth, puts up Lustful Stud snuff, but trucks Curt Sub untruthful skull (Flu-Struck Mug’s). Numbskull Cutup bugs Untruthful Church Guy. Curt Sub buys skull bluff.

Full Dutch turns up. Trustful Nun sums up Curt Sub tumult. Full Dutch murmurs Curt Sub’s just, thus Trustful Nun must trump up slurs, busts Trustful Nun. Truthful Church Guy plus Ur-Crush pump up Trustful Nun’s crux, but Full Dutch trusts Curt Sub. Full Dutch must run. Untruthful Church Guy turns up. Numbskull Cutup slurs Untruthful Church Guy. Humdrum Guru busts Untruthful Church Guy. Numbskull Cutup tugs Untruthful Church Guy’s duds, thus unfurls… Full Dutch! Curt Sub must blush. Numbskull Cutup must skulk.

Full Dutch busts Curt Sub. Curt Sub must nup Ur-Crush. Curt Sub nups Ur-Crush, but Full Dutch must snuff Curt Sub: “Pull Lustful Stud’s plug, pull Curt Sub’s plug. Snuff plus snuff. Rust crusts up rust, plus trust burns such trust. Lust churns up lust, but just turns much unjust. Thus, trust us, truth must snuff Curt Sub. Rush!” Ur-Crush sulks, duns Trustful Nun murmur ruth. Trustful Nun succumbs, murmurs much ruth.

Trustful Nun stuns Full Dutch, but Full Dutch must snuff Curt Sub. Full Dutch hurls Jug Grunt bum’s rush. Jug Grunt must blush, but drums up Drunk Grump, plus… Lustful Stud! Trustful Nun jumps. Curt Sub puffs. Ur-Crush bursts. Full Dutch bumps Humdrum Guru plus Jug Grunt up turf rungs. Lustful Stud must nup Cub Mum. Drunk Grump’s sprung. Numbskull Cutup’s sunk, must suck up just lumps, must nup Smut Punk. Trustful Nun’s up, up, up!

But nun-lust struck Full Dutch. Full Dutch sums up crux. Um…

Bonus Lipogram: The Tempest

This is the fourth in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my fourth lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Tragedy, Hamlet, using “O” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Forlorn Son

Two on post show Old Crown Lord’s Ghost to Bosom Cohort, who looks on spook from top to bottom. Bosom Cohort knows to show Ghost to Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son dons low moods, won’t show known Crown Lord props. Forlorn Son broods:

“O God! O God! How worlds rot! How’s Pop forgot so soon? Not two months lost, no, not so, not two. So good to comfort Mom. Now – oh no! – to go from joy to sorrow. Crown Lord mocks protocol to hook control of stronghold so pronto to follow Pop’s drop-off. Took Mom for consort too soon, too soon. O, Mom shows so hollow! So not cool.”

Cross Hotblood told Moon Tot not to grow too fond of Forlorn Son, for Moon Tot’s born too lowbrow to show Forlorn Son how to don crowns. Top Lord told Cross Hotblood world-won words: “Son, do not borrow – not from, nor to – for to do so oft shows not gold nor cohort to follow.” Top Lord told Moon Tot not to grow too fond of Forlorn Son too, for boys’ vows oft show too hollow. Moon Tot conforms.

Bosom Cohort shows Ghost to Forlorn Son. Ghost told Forlorn Son to follow. Ghost shows Forlorn Son books of sorrow, from Ghost’s own bro, Crown Lord. “Son, for honor, go knock on Crown Lord’s door, who took to rob Pop of crown, of growth, of consort – lost! Do not scold Consort Mom. Now go!” Forlorn Son opts to go from low moods to mock fool.

Crown Lord now longs to know roots of Forlorn Son’s odd moods. Top Lord shows Crown Lord how Forlorn Son’s soft spot for Moon Tot grows odd moods. Consort Mom looks to how Forlorn Son sobs for Pop for roots of Forlorn Son’s odd moods. Forlorn Son shows two old school cohorts (who snoop for Crown Lord) how loss of Pop’s crown grows odd moods. Crown Lord knows not of Ghost’s words. Top Lord shows Show Troop to Forlorn Son. Show Troop shows off for Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son shows Show Troop how to form shows to work on crooks.

Crown Lord snoops on Forlorn Son. Top Lord snoops too. Forlorn Son broods solo: “To go on, or not to go on? Moot. To drop off? To nod down to stop lots of wrongs? Or to go to post-worlds of doom? No! Horror works on lots of cold-foot poltroons. So, do go on. Do go on. Soft! How now, Moon Tot?” Moon Tot confronts Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son scorns Moon Tot to go to God’s fold.

Crown Lord cottons to go to Show Troop’s show “Knock Off.” Crown Lord holds no joy to look on Show Troop’s show. Crown Lord opts to go, so Forlorn Son now knows. For Crown Lord to go off shows proof of Ghost Pop’s word. Top Lord told Forlorn Son to go to Consort Mom’s room. Forlorn Son looks on Crown Lord’s stoop to roods. Forlorn Son won’t knock off Crown Lord to go to God. Forlorn Son holds on. Forlorn Son shocks Consort Mom. Top Lord snoops. Forlorn Son swords… Crown Lord? No, Top Lord. Oops. Forlorn Son scolds Consort Mom, so Ghost Pop shows to stop Forlorn Son short.

Crown Lord books Forlorn Son’s two old school cohorts to convoy Forlorn Son to London. Forlorn Son looks on Oslo Lord’s troops. Oslo Lord’s honor grows on Forlorn Son. Cross Hotblood shows to look for Crown Lord’s blood. Lots of townsfolk show for Cross Hotblood. Crown Lord knows to look to Forlorn Son for Cross Hotblood’s honor. Cross Hotblood looks on Moon Tot, who shows odd moods. Cross Hotblood vows to knock off Forlorn Son. Moon Tot drowns.

Forlorn Son bolts both old school cohorts. Morons. Forlorn Son shows tomb-lot to Bosom Cohort. Two Tomb-lot Clowns fool to Forlorn Son. Both show Old Fool’s crown to Forlorn Son, who broods: “Forsooth, poor Old Fool. Known to stronghold folks, Bosom Cohort. How oft Old Fool told stronghold folks how to roll. How doom follows Old Fool now. Go to Mom’s room, Old Fool, show how fools rot. Mom won’t howl. Bosom Cohort, follow. Lords or lowbrows both go to worms’ food, or for chocks to stop hooch pots. Soft! Crown Lord shows!” Forlorn Son looks on Crown Lord, who comforts Consort Mom. Cross Hotblood sobs to go down to Moon Tot’s tomb. Forlorn Son hops down to confront Cross Hotblood. Both opt for swords.

Cross Hotblood blots hot sword. Crown Lord blots strong port. Both form doom for Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son shows. Forlorn Son bows to Cross Hotblood for Top Lord boo-boo. Both hold swords for sport row. Both go. Crown Lord holds port to honor Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son longs not for port. Consort Mom downs strong port. Oops.

Forlorn Son shows strong to notch two blows on Cross Hotblood. Cross Hotblood swords Forlorn Son. Ow! Forlorn Son swords Cross Hotblood, who drops hot sword. Forlorn Son now holds Cross Hotblood’s hot sword. Cross Hotblood now holds Forlorn Son’s cold sword. Forlorn Son swords Cross Hotblood, who knows both now look on doom. Consort Mom drops from strong port. Cross Hotblood told Forlorn Son of hot sword, of strong port, of Crown Lord’s non-honor. Forlorn Son swords Crown Lord, floods Crown Lord’s gob of strong port. “Follow Mom!” Crown Lord drops off.

Forlorn Son looks to Cross Hotblood. Both smooth off storms of loss for honor. Cross Hotblood drops off. Forlorn Son stoops down. Forlorn Son sponsors Oslo Lord to hold crown now. Forlorn Son drops off. Bosom Cohort croons: “Good morrow, good crown lord’s son. Go to God on good songs.” London Lord shows to post word of Forlorn Son’s two old school cohorts lost. Oslo Lord shows, now top dog. Both sob for loss. Oslo Lord drops word for troops to go shoot.

Next Lipogram: Measure for Measure

This is the third in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my third lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Romance, Cymbeline, using “I” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

British King

British King did wish his kid, Inspiring Girl, did hitch with Swindling Witch’s kid, Insipid Nitwit. Inspiring Girl did this which British King didn’t wish: hitch with Whiz Kid. British King did dismiss Whiz Kid. Inspiring Girl did miss him. Swindling Witch bids Skill Wiz fix his spirit mix, giving Right Fit this. Skill Wiz did switch this spirit mix.

In Rimini, Whiz Kid sits with Nihilistic Twit. This visit is grim. Whiz Kid insists his virgin Inspiring Girl isn’t with sin. Nihilistic Twit will risk his rich bills with Whiz Kid’s ring if this virgin is with sin. Whiz Kid will print, giving Nihilistic Twit his visit.

Nihilistic Twit visits Inspiring Girl. Thinking Inspiring Girl isn’t with sin, Nihilistic Twit tricks this virgin, which will win his risk. Hiding in his bin, his trick is glimpsing this virgin in birth digs in midnight’s dim. Glimpsing firm skin, thick lips, thin midriff, fit thighs, Nihilistic Twit will fib right.

Nihilistic Twit fibs with Whiz Kid, which wins his ring. Whiz Kid is livid. Whiz Kid prints this in ink: Right Fit, Kill This Girl! Right Fit fits Inspiring Girl in stripling things, giving “him” Swindling Witch’s spirit mix. This Stripling Mimic will find Whiz Kid.

In his wild crib, Childish Misfit is living with British King’s Missing Kids. Missing Kids think Childish Misfit is kin. Stripling Mimic finds Childish Misfit’s wild crib. Stripling Mimic finds Missing Kids liking him, inviting him in. This link didn’t think it is missing siblings knit. It is!

Insipid Nitwit primps in Whiz Kid’s digs. First Missing Kid kills him. Stripling Mimic drinks Right Fit’s spirit mix. Missing Kids think Stripling Mimic is stiff. Missing Kids sing. Rising, Stripling Mimic finds Insipid Nitwit’s stiff, thinks it’s Whiz Kid, will miss him. Whiz Kid fights with British wing, which wins! In this fighting, British pinch Whiz Kid with Nihilistic Twit. Whiz Kid’s spirit kin visit him in his brig.

Whiz Kid with Nihilistic Twit visits British King with Stripling Mimic. Right Fit’s tiding is Swindling Witch is stiff. Stripling Mimic finds British King liking him, giving him his first wish. His first wish is Nihilistic Twit will spill it with this ring. Nihilistic Twit spills it: this ring is Whiz Kid’s. His fib did win it, which is ill. Striking Nihilistic Twit, Whiz Kid is livid. Lifting him, Stripling Mimic is hit. It is Inspiring Girl!

First Missing Kid spills it: It is him which did kill Insipid Nitwit. British King will kill him. Childish Misfit spills it: British King is Missing Kids’ kin; Inspiring Girl is Missing Kids’ sibling. British King did dismiss Childish Misfit’s sins. Whiz Kid did dismiss Nihilistic Twit’s sins. British King, with his kids, is in his bliss!

Fin.

Next Lipogram: Hamlet

This is the second in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my second lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Comedy, As You Like It, using “E” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Between the Trees

The elder gentle begets three men, then meets the end. He cedes the eldest, the Stern Keeper, the effects. The next, the Descent Between, he sends hence. The wee seed, the Extreme Teen, dwells the lesser. The Extreme Teen resents the settlement’s terms. He self-tests the mettle when he enters the Esteemed Wrestler’s meet.

Pretender Fred, the regent, sees the wrestlers meet. (Pretender Fred sent hence the pre-empted regent, Excellent Elder, when he wrested the scepter.) The Esteemed Wrestler wrestles well, yet the Extreme Teen sweeps the meet. The Effervescent Belle sees the Extreme Teen edge the Esteemed Wrestler. She expresses her preference. He gets her present: her jewels. He’s speechless.

Pretender Fred sends the Effervescent Belle hence. She seeks her begetter, the Excellent Elder, between the trees. The Sweet Eggshell tempts the Clever Jester. The three enter between the trees. They dress the sheep herder ensemble. The Effervescent Belle effects the Pretend Gent pretense. The Sweet Eggshell effects the Pretend Shepherdess pretense.

The Feeble Server tells the Extreme Teen severe news. The Stern Keeper’s scheme expects Extreme Teen’s end. They flee between the trees, where the Excellent Elder’s gentlemen dwell (e.g., the Depressed Gentle, etc.). They trek, they even jet, except when Feeble Server needs rest. When he sleeps, Extreme Teen seeks refreshment.

The Effervescent Belle wends between the trees. She precedes the Sweet Eggshell. The Sweet Eggshell precedes the Clever Jester. They see the Senseless Shepherd tell the Elder Shepherd he reveres the Relentless Shepherdess. The Elder Shepherd sells the three the effects, the sheep, even the shelter where they’ll dwell.

The Excellent Elder serves refreshments when he meets the blessed gentlemen. Even the Depressed Gentle enters well-cheered: he met the Clever Jester. Yet, when the Extreme Teen enters, he expects he’ll fence. When the Excellent Elder’s clement, the Extreme Teen repents: he’ll be meek. The Extreme Teen seeks the Feeble Server. Then, the Depressed Gentle renders the best speech yet:

“The scene-set emblem expresses well the sphere’s extent. Men enter. They egress. They represent seven degrees. When they enter, they represent the new-bred fledge. Then, the cheerless prep. Then, the tender teen. Next, the reckless selectee. Then, the well-versed expert. Then, the effete elder. When the event ends, they’re the mere speck: less teeth, less eyes, less keenness, less self.”

The Extreme Teen pens metered verses. They revere the Effervescent Belle’s esteem. She sees the trees where he embeds them. He meets her between the trees, except she yet effects her Pretend Gent pretense. The Extreme Teen tells the Pretend Gent he reveres the Effervescent Belle. He’s dense, yet she relents. The Pretend Gent tells the Extreme Teen he’ll pretend he’s the Effervescent Belle. Remember the Pretend Gent pretense: he’s the Effervescent Belle! Hence, the Effervescent Belle pretends she’s the Pretend Gent, then he (the Pretend Gent) pretends he’s the Effervescent Belle. Get the scheme?

The Relentless Shepherdess rejects the Senseless Shepherd. The Pretend Gent tells the Relentless Shepherdess she needs the Senseless Shepherd. The Relentless Shepherdess prefers the Pretend Gent. Gee. The Depressed Gentle cheers the gentlemen’s deer. The Relentless Shepherdess sends the Pretend Gent her letter. The Senseless Shepherd schleps the letter. The Pretend Gent tells the Senseless Shepherd he needs less Relentless Shepherdess. The Stern Keeper enters. He tells them the Extreme Teen bled. The red sheet lessens the Effervescent Belle’s tender senses. The Sweet Eggshell prefers the Stern Keeper. The Stern Keeper tells her Yes!

The Tree-dweller Plebe reveres the Wretched Wench. The Clever Jester jeers. The Wretched Wench prefers the Clever Jester. The Tree-dweller Plebe flees, dejected. The Extreme Teen, the Pretend Gent, the Senseless Shepherd, even the Relentless Shepherdess, meet. The Senseless Shepherd tells them he reveres the Relentless Shepherdess. The Relentless Shepherdess tells them she reveres the Pretend Gent. The Extreme Teen tells them he reveres the Effervescent Belle. The Pretend Gent tells them he’ll get them wed.

The gentlemen meet. The Stern Keeper expects he’ll wed the Pretend Shepherdess (the Sweet Eggshell, remember?). The Clever Jester enters. He expects he’ll wed the Wretched Wench. The Clever Jester tells the Depressed Gentle the seven effects. The Effervescent Belle enters, less the Pretend Gent pretense. Next, the Sweet Eggshell enters, less the Pretend Shepherdess pretense. They cheer.

The Extreme Teen weds the Effervescent Belle. The Stern Keeper weds the Sweet Eggshell. The Clever Jester weds the Wretched Wench. The Senseless Shepherd weds – yes – the Relentless Shepherdess! The Descent Between (remember?) enters. He tells them Pretender Fred repented! The Excellent Elder expects he’ll be regent. They cheer, except the Depressed Gentle. He recedes. The rest revel.

The End.

Next Lipogram: Cymbeline

I am excited to announce a new (though temporary) weekly feature to the blog, inspired by the book Eunoia by Christian Bök. The book has five chapters, each using only one of the five vowels (A, E, I, O, U), and excluding the other four. I thought it might make a fun constrained writing activity for the blog.

The Challenge: I will write plot summaries for five of Shakespeare’s plays, each using a different target vowel, and excluding the other four. I will choose one play from each of the five genres. I will post one summary each Sunday for five weeks.

Five weeks. Five vowels. Five genres. Five plays.

I haven’t read Eunoia, so I don’t know how Bök deals with the letters W and Y, but I have laid down my own ground rules. Y is okay if it’s used as a consonant (as in “Yet”) or in conjunction with the target vowel (as in “boy”), but not when used by itself (as in “my”) or when it forms its own syllable (as in “every”). There will be no restrictions on the use of the letter W.

Obviously, I will need to change most of the character names to make this work. But rather than arbitrarily choosing new names, I think it would be more faithful to the constraint to choose descriptive nicknames.

For my first attempt, I have chosen to summarize a History play, King Henry IV, Part One, using “A” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Hal and Falstaff at War, Part A

 

Brash Lad’s clansman March has a fall at war. Stalwart Braggart attacks and nabs March, and wants cash. Brash Lad wants March back. Grand Man (Hal’s dad) can’t pay Stalwart Braggart that cash. Brash Lad rants mad. Grand Man can’t pay a call at Abraham’s Land, as was always a plan. Grand Man stays wan. An adamant Brash Lad walks, and clasps Stalwart Braggart’s hands.

Hal, Jack Falstaff, and a madcap charlatan band hang at a bar. Falstaff has a scam plan. Hal’s plan sandbags Falstaff. Falstaff, back at that bar, brags and brags. Hal calls Falstaff’s brag and can flash all Falstaff’s cash. Falstaff warns Hal that smart scams can’t trap Stalwart Braggart and Mad Marksman, and that Hal’s dad, Grand Man, wants a harsh chat. Falstaff playacts Grand Man and lambasts Hal. Hal playacts Grand Man and Falstaff playacts Hal. Falstaff (as Hal) says that Hal can’t cast fat Jack Falstaff away. Hal (as Grand Man) says that Hal can, and that’s a fact, Jack!

Brash Lad, Stalwart Braggart, and March all play ball, and plan an attack at Grand Man. March’s lass sang. Grand Man lambasts Hal, as Falstaff had. Hal asks vaward, and Grand Man grants that. Falstaff drafts scalawags that Hal can’t stand and flagrant dastards that pay Falstaff hard cash and walk. Mad Marksman clasps Brash Lad’s hands. Hal packs arms. Falstaff packs sack.

War starts! Mad Marksman attacks Grand Man. Hal casts Mad Marksman away. Hal and Brash Lad clash, and Hal slays Brash Lad. Mad Marksman attacks Jack Falstaff. Falstaff falls flat and playacts a carcass. Hal calls Brash Lad a gallant, and calls Falstaff fat. As Hal walks away, Falstaff plays at sarcasm and says that a gallant’s as apt as a warrant and a hangman. Falstaff nabs Brash Lad’s carcass and says that Brash Lad had drawn a last fall at Falstaff’s hand.

Hal’s man nabs Mad Marksman. Hal plays lax gallant and casts Mad Marksman away. Hal and Grand Man plan an attack at Stalwart Braggart and March. Call that play “Part B”…

Next Lipogram: As You Like It