This is the fifth in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my final lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Dark Comedy (or Problem play), Measure for Measure, using “U” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Full Dutch must run, but puts up Curt Sub. Curt Sub (plus Humdrum Guru) must run Full Dutch’s turf. Curt Sub shuns lust, thus Curst Slut must shut up smut hut. Lustful Stud plucks un-nupt Cub Mum. Curt Sub busts Lustful Stud plus Cub Mum, but must snuff just Lustful Stud. Such junk luck! Numbskull Cutup hunts trump club: Trustful Nun. Full Dutch trusts Curt Sub, but must cull turf hubbub. Thus, Full Dutch turns Untruthful Church Guy, lurks hushful.

Punchdrunk Fuzz busts Pub Bum plus Dumbstruck Chum, but Humdrum Guru chucks such dumb busts. Numbskull Cutup drums up Trustful Nun. Trustful Nun must churn up Curt Sub’s ruth, but just churns up Curt Sub’s lust! Curt Sub puts crux thus: Trustful Nun succumbs, Lustful Stud’s sprung; Trustful Nun puts up fuss, Lustful Stud’s hurt. Such scum! Trustful Nun burns up, must burst truthful lungs, but Curt Sub shuts such bluffs up. Turf bunch trusts Curt Sub such, Trustful Nun’s slurs must rust. Nuts!

Untruthful Church Guy (Full Dutch) lulls jug-thrust Lustful Stud. Trustful Nun unfurls Curt Sub’s crux. Lustful Stud puts up spurn, but blurts much flux, succumbs, puts thumbs up. Trustful Nun burns up. Untruthful Church Guy lulls Trustful Nun, curbs Lustful Stud’s pluck. Punchdrunk Fuzz busts Pub Bum. Numbskull Cutup busts up jug-thrust Pub Bum. Numbskull Cutup murmurs untruthful Full Dutch slurs, stuns Untruthful Church Guy. But Humdrum Guru tuts Curt Sub, must gush Full Dutch’s surplus.

Untruthful Church Guy drums up Curt Sub’s Ur-Crush. Ur-Crush turns Untruthful Trustful Nun, humps Curt Sub. Dusk plus untruthful duds tuck up bluff. Curt Sub buys hump bluff, but burns Trustful Nun, puts up bull: Jug Grunt must snuff Lustful Stud, Curt Sub must clutch Lustful Stud’s skull. Ugh!

Gruff Thug duns Pub Bum cut Lustful Stud’s scruff plus Drunk Grump’s. Untruthful Church Guy turns Jug Grunt; Lustful Stud puffs. Drunk Grump puts up much fuss. Flu-Struck Mug punts. Such luck! Thus, Jug Grunt blurs truth, puts up Lustful Stud snuff, but trucks Curt Sub untruthful skull (Flu-Struck Mug’s). Numbskull Cutup bugs Untruthful Church Guy. Curt Sub buys skull bluff.

Full Dutch turns up. Trustful Nun sums up Curt Sub tumult. Full Dutch murmurs Curt Sub’s just, thus Trustful Nun must trump up slurs, busts Trustful Nun. Truthful Church Guy plus Ur-Crush pump up Trustful Nun’s crux, but Full Dutch trusts Curt Sub. Full Dutch must run. Untruthful Church Guy turns up. Numbskull Cutup slurs Untruthful Church Guy. Humdrum Guru busts Untruthful Church Guy. Numbskull Cutup tugs Untruthful Church Guy’s duds, thus unfurls… Full Dutch! Curt Sub must blush. Numbskull Cutup must skulk.

Full Dutch busts Curt Sub. Curt Sub must nup Ur-Crush. Curt Sub nups Ur-Crush, but Full Dutch must snuff Curt Sub: “Pull Lustful Stud’s plug, pull Curt Sub’s plug. Snuff plus snuff. Rust crusts up rust, plus trust burns such trust. Lust churns up lust, but just turns much unjust. Thus, trust us, truth must snuff Curt Sub. Rush!” Ur-Crush sulks, duns Trustful Nun murmur ruth. Trustful Nun succumbs, murmurs much ruth.

Trustful Nun stuns Full Dutch, but Full Dutch must snuff Curt Sub. Full Dutch hurls Jug Grunt bum’s rush. Jug Grunt must blush, but drums up Drunk Grump, plus… Lustful Stud! Trustful Nun jumps. Curt Sub puffs. Ur-Crush bursts. Full Dutch bumps Humdrum Guru plus Jug Grunt up turf rungs. Lustful Stud must nup Cub Mum. Drunk Grump’s sprung. Numbskull Cutup’s sunk, must suck up just lumps, must nup Smut Punk. Trustful Nun’s up, up, up!

But nun-lust struck Full Dutch. Full Dutch sums up crux. Um…

Via News on the Rialto, we learn of an international event called Shakespeare 24:

Shakespeare 24 (S24) is an exciting worldwide Shakespeare performance event. Beginning in New Zealand and ending 24 hours later in Hawaii. 60 youth groups will stage 30 and 45 minute adaptations of Shakespeare’s plays at 7pm, local time on Shakespeare’s 444th birthday, April 23rd 2008.

It all sounds very exciting, but I have to admit that when I first saw the title of the post, I had something else in mind entirely…

MEMO: CONFIDENTIAL

SEASON SEVEN PLOT OUTLINE FOR SHAKESPEARE 24

In a prologue, Jack Bauer asks for the audience’s generosity in accepting the extremely contrived plot in the season to come, and informs them that the following events take place between 8am and 9am.

8:00am – 9:00am: On his way home from a mission, Jack is stopped by three witches, who offer cryptic prophecies of a terrorist attack to take place in the next 24 hours. After he threatens them with a belt sander, they agree to get more specific. The attack will come in the form of a virus that makes the infected people seem like they are dead for a short period of time, after which they will be perfectly fine. Jack doesn’t think that sounds so bad, but the witches assure him that it can actually cause quite a bit of trouble.

9:00am – 10:00am: In the White House, Sandra Palmer is now president. She is having drinks with a group of community activists, when she realizes that one of them is Richard Heller, long lost son of the former Secretary of Defense. She immediately welcomes him into her cabinet as the new Secretary of Defense.

10:00am – 11:00am: Richard is installed as the new Secretary of Defense. He makes a phone call and tells the person on the other end that the plan is working and that he will be president by the end of the day. Sandra Palmer mysteriously dies of a poisoning.

11:00am – Noon: The vice president is sworn in as president. The Speaker of the House, suspicious of the poisoning, leads a campaign against him.

Noon – 1:00pm: Jack is visited by the ghost of his father, who tells him there is a mole in CTU, and that Jack shouldn’t trust anyone. Jack appoints his most trusted lieutenant, Agent Iago, to head up the investigation.

1:00pm – 2:00pm: The president is impeached, and the Speaker of the House is sworn in as president. The former president is imprisoned and is later killed by henchmen working for Richard. Iago puts a suspicion in Jack’s mind that Chloe is the mole.

2:00pm – 3:00pm: The president is alerted to the terrorist threat, and must cancel his trip to the Holy Land. He asks Jack to track down the leader of the cell. Jack traces the money trail to a Jewish moneylender near Venice Beach.

3:00pm – 4:00pm: Jack arrives at the moneylender’s place, and tries to interrogate him, but kills him accidentally. He finds three caskets, and knows that two of them are rigged with explosives, and he must select the correct casket to find out the location of the terrorist base. With some help from the moneylender’s daughter, he chooses correctly.

4:00pm – 5:00pm: The president is assassinated by a sniper, hired by Richard. The president pro tempore of the Senate is sworn in as president. He gives a rousing speech and then orders an air strike against the terrorist base located by Jack, but the terrorists are tipped off by Iago – the mole in CTU. During the phone call, we finally see the leader of the terrorist cell is Jack’s nephew, Josh Bauer. Josh escapes with his top henchmen before the air strike hits.

5:00pm – 6:00pm: The president is killed by a bomb planted by Richard, and the Secretary of State is sworn in as president. Jack learns from aerial surveillance footage of the strike that his nephew is involved in the terrorist plot. The new first lady discovers that Richard is a terrorist and tries to warn everyone, but she is dismissed as mentally unstable. She puts a curse on Richard, and calls Jack to tell him of Richard’s involvement. Then, she disappears.

6:00pm – 7:00pm: The president dies in what appears to be an automobile accident. The Secretary of the Treasury is sworn in as president. Jack goes to the White House to stop Richard.

7:00pm – 8:00pm: The president is killed. Jack is framed. Richard is sworn in as president. Jack is sentenced to death by a secret military tribunal.

8:00pm – 9:00pm: Chloe pleads to Richard, who is now the president, for Jack’s life. Richard agrees to sign a pardon for Jack if she will sleep with him. She agrees, planning to substitute a double, but the only match in the CTU database is Jack’s daughter, Kim Bauer. At first, Jack refuses to allow her participation, but when he realizes he will die otherwise, agrees to go along with the plan.

9:00pm – 10:00pm: Before she can follow through with the plan, Kim appears to die of the virus. Richard has her put in a trunk and dropped into the ocean.

10:00pm – 11:00pm: Kim washes ashore and is recovered by the owner of a brothel and his wife. Some other stuff happens, but nobody really cares. Josh gives a canister of the virus to a mercenary and asks him to attach a timing device set to release the virus at 7am.

11:00pm – Midnight: Not knowing who she can trust, Kim tries to make her way to CTU disguised as a boy, which makes her look exactly like her cousin Josh.

Midnight – 1:00am: Kim is approached by the mercenary who has completed the timing device. He gives it to her, believing she is Josh. Kim returns to CTU with the canister where she is again mistaken for Josh and arrested immediately.

1:00am – 2:00am: Jack escapes custody and heads back to CTU disguised as a bedlam beggar. Kim is interrogated by CTU agents who still believe she is Josh. The mercenary finds the real Josh, and demands payment for the timing device. Josh refuses, insisting he never received it. Hilarity ensues, and then Josh kills the mercenary.

2:00am – 3:00am: Jack and Kim reveal their disguises. Mischievous fairies put a spell on Chloe, who falls in love with Iago. Jack leaves to confront his nephew.

3:00am – 4:00am: Jack captures Josh, and discovers evidence on Josh’s cell phone that proves the mole inside CTU is Iago. He calls Chloe to tell her Iago is the mole. Chloe goes mad, sings a song, and drowns herself in a river.

4:00am – 5:00am: Jack returns to CTU to confront Iago, who at first refuses to speak until he is given immunity, but then confirms that Richard has been responsible for the day’s events. Josh reveals that Jack is his real father, and it was his bitter resentment over his bastardy that made him turn to a life of crime.

5:00am – 6:00am: Kim learns that Josh is not her cousin, but her half-brother, and goes to see him. Josh, moved by his half-sister’s compassion, repents. Jack goes to the White House and slips past Secret Service to confront Richard. Jack and Richard fight, and Richard is slain. Before he dies, he not only confesses to his crimes, but also provides a recap of the entire plot for the season.

6:00am – 7:00am: Messengers from CTU arrive at the White House and report that Josh has had a religious conversion, and has revealed the location of all of the canisters, except for the one he gave the mercenary. Jack realizes that the canister Kim was carrying is equipped with a timing device, and rushes back to CTU. The Attorney General is sworn in as the eighth president in the last twenty-four hours.

7:00am – 8:00am: Jack gets to CTU, but it is too late. Everyone at CTU has fallen to the virus. Jack, believing he has failed, delivers a monologue on the meaningless nature of brief life and commits suicide. After he dies, everyone wakes up from the virus and, seeing Jack dead, kill themselves. The new president arrives at CTU to give Jack a medal. He sees all of the bodies and laments the tragic events of the day. He then pledges to restore peace to the nation.

From Measure for Measure:

He, who the sword of heaven will bear
Should be as holy as severe;
Pattern in himself to know,
Grace to stand, and virtue go;
More nor less to others paying
Than by self offences weighing.
Shame to him whose cruel striking
Kills for faults of his own liking!
Twice treble shame on Angelo,
To weed my vice and let his grow!
O, what may man within him hide,
Though angel on the outward side!
How many likeness made in crimes,
Making practice on the times,
To draw with idle spiders’ strings
Most pond’rous and substantial things!

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

The former governor of New York State seemed like someone we might trust.

When he held the attorney general post, he had a reputation for upholding the law, so we dismissed character assassins and voted for his vision.

But now he’s fallen. He got caught lying, breaking the law, and dismissing morality.

What will we be thinking about seemly politicians that ask for votes or money now? How can we risk what misconducts one might be hiding? How do we tell smiling inspirational charm from hidden smug selfishness?

Via UPI:

LONDON, Nov. 18 (UPI) — The BBC is embarking on an ambitious project to produce new versions of all 37 of Shakespeare’s plays over the next 12 years, employing an ensemble cast.

The BBC originally presented Shakespearean works 30 years ago in a widely heralded seven-year series.

This time around, the BBC enlisted Oscar-winner Sam Mendes to produce the entire series. Among the notable stars being called upon to act in the Bard’s plays are Judi Dench, Jude Law, Ian McKellen and Kate Winslet, The Sunday Telegraph reported Sunday.

“The moment I took the idea to the BBC, they grasped it with both hands, and in a sense they are the only people who could help pull it off,” Mendes said.

BBC is discussing a joint finance deal for the series with HBO.

This is incredibly exciting. I am a big fan of the original series, because sometimes I need a video of one of the more obscure plays, whether I’m teaching it, or I’m just in the mood to watch it. And it’s difficult to find a good production of, say, Measure for Measure at Blockbuster, so it’s nice to have access to a complete set.

But the prospect of another complete set, with modern-day actors and production values is even better. Plus, there will be the opportunity to compare the two versions, which always makes a good classroom activity.

But even forgetting all of that, we’re going to get 37 new BBC Shakespeare video productions over the next twelve years! I do hope HBO gets on board, or at least that there’s some way to see the videos in America (BBC-A?). I can’t wait to see another Pericles, another Measure for Measure, another King John, and another Cymbeline. And yes, another Hamlet and another King Lear and another Richard III too – there’s plenty to be excited about!

Perhaps we can even discuss the productions here, as they air.

From Measure for Measure:

Well, heaven forgive him, and forgive us all!
Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

We offer thin hymn as illusory vim, if believing ourselves damned or salvageable.

At the risk of appearing like I’m trying to out-geek the Shakespeare Geek, here’s another list.

You’ve seen my top 25 favorite plays and my top 25 favorite scenes (then expanded to 50). Here are my top 50 favorite characters (or groups of characters) from Shakespeare’s plays at the present moment. Enjoy! And feel free to add to the conversation, especially if I’ve left some of your favorites out!

50. The Nurse (Romeo and Juliet) – The play may be a tragedy, but the Nurse is one of the great comic roles in Shakespeare.

49. The Duke of York (Richard the Second) – The remaining son of Edward III is so loyal to the King, he’ll turn in his own son as a traitor.

48. Sir Toby Belch (Twelfth Night) – Think Falstaff without the good manners. Half the time he’s plotting; the other half he’s drunk.

47. The Prince of Morocco & The Prince of Arragon (The Merchant of Venice) – It’s hard to tell which of these two suitors to Portia is more unsuitable, or more hilarious.

46. Dogberry (Much Ado About Nothing) – The muddled constable of the watch who bumbles his way into uncovering the evil plot!

45. Helena (All’s Well That Ends Well) – I’ll never understand what a quality woman like Helena sees in a loser like Bertram. Sigh.

44. Richard the Second (Richard the Second) – Too much philosopher, not enough king. But divine right is divine right. Isn’t it?

43. Philip the Bastard (King John) – When you’re already a bastard, who cares what people think of you? Certainly not Philip.

42. Polonius (Hamlet) – He may be a rash, intruding, doddering old fool, but his madness has a method to it. I think.

41. Beatrice and Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing) – You can’t have one without the other. Sharp banter hiding a deep affection – very cool.

40. Portia (The Merchant of Venice) – Unlike some love interests, Portia is actually worth the winning, and not just for her money.

39. Puck (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) – The mischievous sprite who doesn’t mind helping mortals at times, as long as it’s funny.

38. Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet) – The madcap kinsman to the Prince is a grave man when caught between the two houses.

37. Lucio (Measure for Measure) – This guy is a riot from beginning to end, but slandering the Duke to his disguised face rules.

36. Marc Antony (Multiple plays) – His funeral oration is a masterpiece, but his most powerful line? “I am dying, Egypt, dying.”

35. Viola (Twelfth Night) – Her disguise-as-a-boy plan plunges her in over her head, but she handles it all with grace.

34. Brutus (Julius Caesar) – This was the noblest Roman of them all, deeply conflicted and ultimately his own undoing.

33. Cloten (Cymbeline) – Proud, arrogant, foolish, entitled, and a bully, Cloten is nothing but a suit and a title. Fun!

32. The Earl of Kent (King Lear) – Deeply loyal to the King who has banished him, Kent has something to teach us all.

31. Malvolio (Twelfth Night) – He didn’t really deserve what he got in the play, but he is a Puritan, after all.

30. Jacques (As You Like It) – He’s probably bipolar, but he’s a deep thinker and a keen observer of the human condition.

29. Caliban (The Tempest) – Caliban’s antics are a lot of fun, but I’m more interested in his backstory and its meaning.

28. The Weird Sisters (Macbeth) – Do you think the three witches predict the future? Or do they cause it?

27. Tranio (The Taming of the Shrew) – A servant, who we mostly see playing gentleman. At the end, he’s back to waiting tables.

26. Lewis the Dauphin (Henry the Fifth) – We’re shown Henry’s suitability to be the next French king by seeing a weak Dauphin.

25. Isabella (Measure for Measure) – After all she’s been through, the Duke gives her one final impossible test. She passes.

24. Petruchio & Katherine (The Taming of the Shrew) – When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, somethin’s gotta give…

23. Emilia (Othello) – She’d make her husband a cuckold to make him a king, but won’t cover for his wickedness.

22. Iachimo (Cymbeline) – This “Little Iago” is clever and dishonest, and starts up way more trouble than he means to.

21. Enobarbus (Antony and Cleopatra) – A loyal soldier who can’t support Antony’s self-destructive course, and dies of shame.

20. Goneril & Regan (King Lear) – The wicked ones turn on their father, their husbands, their sister, and finally, each other.

19. Jack Cade (Henry the Sixth, Part Two) – This rough-hewn pretender to the throne would abolish money and kill all the lawyers.

18. Helena (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) – My heart just goes out to Helena, who is such a sweet person and gets rotten treatment.

17. Prospero (The Tempest) – The Duke of Milan, and wise old master of knowledge, books, and the elements of nature.

16. Hamlet (Hamlet) – The melancholy Dane helps us understand that murky place between thought and action.

15. Queen Margaret (Multiple plays) – With an amazing character arc that spans four plays, Margaret puts the “It” back in bitch.

14. Rosalind (As You Like It) – Let’s face it – Rosalind carries the whole plot on force of personality. We like her, so it works.

13. Macbeth (Macbeth) – From noble warrior to homicidal maniac, Macbeth experiences an incredible transformation.

12. Bottom (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) – The megalomaniac actor! We can all recognize him, but do we recognize ourselves in him?

11. Cleopatra (Antony and Cleopatra) – She’s a strong, empowered woman who’s not above using sex as a political tactic.

10. Edmund (King Lear) – A charming villain – all honor on the outside, and evil on the inside. What a bastard!

9. Othello (Othello) – A complex and passionate character, who loved (and trusted) not wisely, but too well.

8. Sir John Falstaff (Multiple plays) – A drunk, a theif, a liar, a glutton, and a pure hedonist. And those are his good points.

7. Duke of Gloucester/ Richard the Third (Multiple plays) – Since he cannot prove a lover, he is determined to prove a villain!

6. Shylock (The Merchant of Venice) – The Jewish moneylender may be the villain, but Shakespeare shows us his human side.

5. King Lear (King Lear) – Is dying the worst thing that can happen? What about having it all and watching it fade?

4. Prince Hal/ Henry the Fifth (Multiple plays) – Shakespeare traces England’s great hero from his wayward youth to his victory in France.

3. Lady Macbeth (Macbeth) – An equal partner in evil to Macbeth, and a force to be reckoned with. But then she breaks.

2. The Fool (King Lear) – The Fool balances that fine line between jesting clown, and sharp commentator on events.

1. Iago (Othello) – The hands-down, pure evil incarnate, puppet master general. But why does he do it?

As long as we’re making lists, how about our top five scenes? I made my list (see below), feel free to play along in the comments, or on your own blog, or both. As before, this list is based on my own personal preferences at this particular moment. I’ll be using the scene divisions from Bartleby.com.

And, as before, my top five list has twenty-five entries. Enjoy!

25. A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Act 5, Scene 1
I had to include the Pyramus & Thisby performance at the end of Midsummer. The happy ending to the real story has already come, and now we can just relax and enjoy the show.

24. Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 4
The effect of Hamlet’s berating his mother in her bedchamber, and raising the tension until it is released by his killing Polonius, is devastating on stage. When the ghost arrives, we must listen.

23. King John: Act 1, Scene 1
Robert Faulconbridge claims that his brother Philip is a bastard, not entitled to his father’s lands. King John and his mother recognize the madcap Philip as natural son to the late King Richard, and welcome him into the royal family.

22. Richard the Third: Act 1, Scene 2
Richard has killed Anne’s husband and his father. He woos her and wins her hand, reveling in overcoming impossible odds. There is some really elegant use of language in this scene.

21. The Comedy of Errors: Act 3, Scene 1
This scene cracks me up. Antipholus of Ephesus is locked out of his house, because his wife thinks he’s inside. Actually, it’s his long lost twin brother. The rolling verse makes the scene.

20. Twelfth Night: Act 2, Scene 4
Viola is in love with Orsino, but he thinks she’s a boy. She tells him of her love using a supposed sister. Orsino is in love too, and both of their passions are stirred by a song. This scene “gives a very echo to the seat where love is throned.”

19. Measure for Measure: Act 2, Scene 4
Angelo has sentenced Isabella’s brother to death, but he offers to release him in exchange for sex. She tells him to stick it. But now she’s in a bind. In the hands of talented actors, this scene kills.

18. Henry the Sixth, Part Three: Act 1, Scene 4
The Duke of York has made a claim to the throne, but now is captured by Queen Margaret who taunts him with a paper crown and a napkin dipped in the blood of his dead son. He curses her, and she has him killed. “Off with his head!”

17. As You Like It: Act 5, Scene 4
Rosalind and Celia reveal their true identities to their astonished lovers. And if four weddings and some songs aren’t enough of a happy ending, the banished Duke is restored. I couldn’t resist including it.

16. King Lear: Act 1, Scene 1
This scene could be a play unto itself. Cordelia refuses to participate in flattering her father for his land and is banished. But then she weds the King of France and lives happily ever … no, wait.

15. Othello: Act 3, Scene 3
Through subtle innuendo and hints of suspicion, Iago brings Othello from being completely free of suspicion toward Desdemona, to a jealous rage against her.

14. Measure for Measure: Act 5, Scene 1
Shakespeare spent the whole play setting up the dominoes and lets them fall in this final scene. Isabella has a big choice to make, and she takes the high road. But what about her final choice? Shakespeare doesn’t say.

13. Macbeth: Act 5, Scene 7
The prophecies have all come true, but Macbeth isn’t ready to give up the crown yet, let alone the ghost. In defiance of law, of country, of nature, and of fate itself, he fights. And he dies.

12. Hamlet: Act 5, Scene 1
Hamlet jokes and reflects on death with a gravedigger and Horatio before learning the grave is to be Ophelia’s. And the gravedigger started working the day Hamlet was born. Think about that for a moment.

11. Macbeth: Act 1, Scene 7
Lady Macbeth goads Macbeth into regicide by attacking his manhood and questioning his love. He’s against killing the king on moral grounds, until she presents a plan with a good chance of working, and then he’s in.

10. Henry the Fourth, Part One: Act 2, Scene 4
A fun tavern scene with Jack Falstaff telling tall tales, and a role-playing exercise that turns sour.

9. King Lear: Act 5, Scene 3
The sisters undo themselves. Edgar defeats his treacherous brother Edmund. And then Lear dies with Cordelia in his arms. Good has triumphed over evil, but what spoils are left for the victor?

8. Richard the Third: Act 5, Scene 3
The ghosts of all Richard’s victims disturb his rest the night before the decisive battle. In the morning, he and Richmond deliver orations to their troops, contrasting their different leadership styles.

7. Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 1
The “To be, or not to be” soliloquy is great, but the scene with Ophelia that follows is what makes the list. Love has turned to resentment and bitter mistrust. He must continue to play mad, but his actual sanity is now at risk.

6. Julius Caesar: Act 3, Scene 2
At Caesar’s funeral, Antony, who has promised not to speak ill of the conspirators, delivers an oration that turns the crowd against them. It’s a testament to the power of good rhetoric, and the power of love and loyalty.

5. Othello: Act 5, Scene 2
Othello murders Desdemona and then discovers the truth of the plot against him. Othello’s passionate speeches of angst and remorse are contrasted with Iago’s dispassionate demanor after being caught.

4. A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Act 3, Scene 2
The four lovers, giddy with love’s madness, quarrel to the shock and amusement of the fairies. After going to much trouble to set it up, Shakespeare doesn’t let us down. This is just pure fun.

3. Macbeth: Act 4, Scene 1
Obsessed with succession, Macbeth demands answers from the witches, who tell him much more than he really wants to know. The witches’ brew part alone is for the ages. “Double, double, toil and trouble…”

2. King Lear: Act 4, Scene 6
The mad Lear meets the blind Gloucester. Lear’s speech is filled with sense, and yet is nonsense. Gloucester, who has by now realized he was blind when he had eyes, now says he sees the world feelingly. Also notable is Edgar pretending to lead his blind father to the edge of a cliff. Heartbreaking.

1. Richard the Third: Act 4, Scene 4
By the fourth scene of the fourth act of the fourth play in the series, most of the bad stuff that was going to happen has already happened. The widows gather and compare their losses. Then Richard, the cause of their misery, enters. He recieves a blistering rebuke from his own mother. He is then left on stage with his sister-in-law, whose two sons he has murdered. And he asks her for the hand of her daughter, his niece, in marriage. Now that’s chutzpah!

The Shakespeare Geek has posted his top five favorite Shakespeare plays, based on another blogger’s post listing his top five favorite Shakespeare plays.

Man, how can you do that? I tried it myself, but the list got a little out of hand. My top five list turns out to have twenty-five plays in it. Bear with me. Here they are, in the ascending order of my preference today. If I made the same list tomorrow, it might be different.

25. The Tempest – Critics deny this is Shakespeare’s farewell to the theatre, but read it and decide for yourself. Prospero, Ariel, Caliban, and Miranda are unique in Shakespeare, strange for so late a play.

24. Much Ado About Nothing – There is a lot in this play to recommend, but Beatrice and Benedick are the most fun. I’m also a fan of Dogberry the Constable and, in his own way, Don John.

23. The Winter’s Tale – I like this play… not as much as other people may like it, but I like it well enough. There are some great speeches in the play, and more than a few moments that kill on stage.

22. Henry the Sixth, Part Three – The paper crown scene alone should bring this play some recognition. I also enjoy the early character development of Richard Gloucester, the future King Richard III.

21. Henry the Fourth, Part Two – Vibrant tavern scenes, darkly comic scenes, frenetic battle scenes, and one intense standoff between King Henry and his son Hal. Don’t miss the last five minutes.

20. The Comedy of Errors – This play can be a lot of fun if you accept it on its own terms. The scene where Antipholus of Ephesus is locked out of his house is reason enough to make the list.

19. Cymbeline – This is a hidden treasure, filled with great scenes and powerful moments. It has a beautiful fairy-tale quality, strong characters, passionate poetry, and a satisfying ending. More here.

18. The Taming of the Shrew – The first scene between Kate and Petruchio is an all-time classic, and the piece as a whole is a wonderful bit of inspired silliness. The taming can be a bit jarring, though.

17. Romeo and Juliet – I think it would be hard for anyone to make a Top Five and Twenty list of favorite Shakespeare plays and not include Romeo & Juliet. The poetic language is beautiful.

16. Twelfth Night – There’s a lot going on in this play, and it all works on stage. Don’t let the slapstick elements fool you into thinking this is an unsophisticated play. It isn’t.

15. The Merchant of Venice – This is another play with a rich complexity that seems to burst out of its fairy-tale frame, which is what allows the darker elements of the play finally to surface.

14. Henry the Fourth, Part One – Who could resist the irrepressible Falstaff, and his relationship with the young Prince Hal? This play has my favorite tavern scene, and lets not forget Hotspur either.

13. King John – Shakespeare wrote this play just after the death of his eleven-year-old son, and the influence of that event on this play is breathtaking. Also, the Bastard is a character well worth knowing.

12. Richard the Second – For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground and talk about the richly complex symbolism and beautiful flowing poetry in this play. Go and fetch me a looking glass.

11. Antony and Cleopatra – It’s a love story. It’s a war epic. It’s a geopolitical thriller. It’s the greatest story in history told by history’s greatest storyteller. This is not your high school Romeo and Juliet.

10. Henry the Fifth – This is a tight, passionate, stirring play. It’s also a Rorschach test for how you feel about war. Each scene is a mini-masterpiece, and the use of language is extraordinary.

9. Julius Caesar – This powerful tale of politics, rhetoric, and betrayal in Ancient Rome may be a schoolhouse classic, but it’s a better read as an adult. I find myself coming back again and again.

8. Measure for Measure – Darker and more overtly sexual than most of Shakespeare’s other comedies, this play explores both the depths of depravity and the better angels of human nature.

7. As You Like It – This Shakespearean fairy tale is filled with laughs, love, and music. Shakespeare knew what audiences liked, and he gave it to them in this aptly named comedy.

6. A Midsummer Night’s Dream – One can only imagine what the effect must have been of having fairies and nobles and workmen wrapped up in the same story on stage. One for the ages.

5. Othello – This is a true masterpiece: in characterization, plot structure, emotion, pacing, poetic language, potency, and thematic cohesion. This is how to write a play, my friends.

4. Macbeth – I’ve always found this play extremely riveting from beginning to end. The witches prophesy Macbeth will be King, setting a chain of events irrevocably in motion. Spellbinding.

3. Hamlet – Never before or since has there been such an intimately detailed character study. Was he mad? My father once said, “if you took that close a look at any of our minds, we’d all seem mad.”

2. King Lear – I make new discoveries every time I read this play, and not just discoveries about the play. This may be the greatest thing ever written in the English language. I may never fully grasp it.

1. Richard the Third – My personal favorite, and a guilty pleasure at that. Somehow, Shakespeare makes us root for the bad guy. Is there a secret evil genius within us that he speaks to? I’ll never admit to it.

So those are my top five favorite Shakespeare plays. Feel free to post your top five favorite Shakespeare plays in the comments, however many there may happen to be.

While I was away, the Shakespeare Geek has been blogging up a storm. He always manages to find such great nuggets of Shakespearia in the digital forest. A few notable items that either I got from him, or he beat me to:

• There’s a new Showtime series on The Tudors with the first two episodes posted online. If this looks like it’s going to be any good, perhaps we will discuss it here, replacing the soon-to-be-retired Slings & Arrows thread each Sunday. What do you think?
• A map of almost all the places quoted in Shakespeare available in both Google Maps and Google Earth versions. This has some nice classroom applications, particularly in teaching history. Compare, for example, the relative locations of Pericles and Antony and Cleopatra around the eastern Mediterranean. Pericles takes place in the Hellenistic period, which came to an end with the events of Antony and Cleopatra, so comparing their relative locations can be useful. You know, for those times when you’re studying Pericles and Antony and Cleopatra. It was just an example.
• A somewhat new Shakespeare wiki. This looks like it’s going to be able to go much more in depth into Shakespeare than Wikipedia allows. I have to use the future tense, because right now it looks like the giant hole in the ground that is dug before a majestic building is erected. Can’t wait to see the view.
• Hamlet on trial for the murder of Polonius, presided over by a Supreme Court Justice, as part of the six month Shakespeare in Washington festival. I was in DC on Thursday, but missed the trial in favor of Richard III at the Shakespeare Theatre Company. But it caught my eye because my grad students have been talking about using the trial as a classroom activity. We’ve discussed the activity in connection with Hamlet, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Othello, The Merchant of Venice, King Lear, and Measure for Measure.

There’s more stuff over there if you want to check it out. I like to link to him every now and then because I know there are some who come to this site looking for lots of cool Shakespeare stuff, and instead find postings about Venn diagrams, killer robots, and Charlie the Unicorn. His is the site you were looking for. But do come back tomorrow for the Thursday Morning Riddle.

Conundrum won’t always be a picnic (what is?), but I’m having fun, so lets do one more.

This week, I’m having a picnic for characters from Shakespeare. But only certain characters can be invited, based on a particular rule:

• I’m inviting JULIET, but not ROMEO.
• I’m inviting ANGELO, but not BASSANIO.
• I’m inviting VINCENTIO, but not LUCENTIO.
• I’m inviting ESCALUS, but not MERCUTIO.
• I’m inviting CLAUDIO, but not DON JOHN.
• I’m inviting ISABELLA, but not RICHARD II.
• I’m inviting FRIAR PETER, but not FRIAR LAURENCE.
• I’m inviting both POMPEY and VARRIUS, but neither OCTAVIUS nor AGRIPPA.

Have you figured out the rule? If so, please don’t post it. Just post one addition to the guest list to show us you got it, and to give an extra hint to later solvers. This time, it is not necessary to include the name of a character who is not invited, but you may do so if you choose.

UPDATE: The solution is now posted in the comments.