Archive for the 'Shakespeare' Category

Shakespeare Song Parody: Navarre Shake

Friday, April 5th, 2013

This is the 30th in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Navarre Shake
based on the Internet meme featuring “Harlem Shake” by Baauer

(With no apologies…)

[The KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE are engrossed in study. They ignore BEROWNE, who is dancing wildly while music plays.]

Con los reconquistas!

Hey, Shake!
Hey, Shake!

You can do the Navarre Shake!

[Quick cut. The KING, LONGAVILLE, DUMAINE, and BEROWNE are now all dressed as Muskovites. They are joined by the PRINCESS, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHERINE. All eight are dancing wildly as the music plays.]

Con los reconquistas!

Hey, Shake!
Hey, Shake!

Do the Navarre Shake!

Shakespeare Song Parody: Prince of Tyre

Friday, March 29th, 2013

Well, I guess I’m doing them all…

This is the 29th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Prince of Tyre
sung to the tune of “Girl on Fire”

(With apologies to Alicia Keys, and fans of Pericles…)

He’s just a prince and he’s from Tyre.
He comes from overseas;
His name is Pericles.
He’s living in a world so far from Tyre.
Can’t help but to displease
A king he cannot appease.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
He sought to wed the king’s daughter.
Now he’s stuck in hot water.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
He solved the king’s riddle.
Now he’s trapped in the middle.

This prince is of Tyre!
This prince is of Tyre.
He’s so far from Tyre.
This prince is of Tyre!

Looks like a knave, but he’s a prince.
He returns home to his land,
Cures a famine with some grain.
A storm wrecks his ship out in the rinse,
Washes up on the sand,
Competes for a bride again.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
He wins the girl in the match;
She thinks that he’s quite the catch.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
They have a daughter, and then
A storm wrecks his ship again.

This prince is of Tyre!
This prince is of Tyre.
He’s so far from Tyre.
This prince is of Tyre!

One day Marina to him is led,
After being told she was dead,
And he finds that she’s his girl,
And her mom’s alive in the world.
What a thing to learn, baby, learn, baby…

This prince is of Tyre!
This prince is of Tyre.
He’s so far from Tyre.
This prince is of Tyre!

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Oh-oh-oh-oh!

He’s just a prince and he’s from Tyre.

Shakespeare Song Parody: Dutiful Gloucester

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

This is the 28th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Dutiful Gloucester
sung to the tune of “Beautiful Monster” by Ne-Yo

(For Janai…)

In your life,
As Lord Protector,
You aim to serve
‘Till the king’s grown.

But your wife,
So ambitious,
Wants to see
You ascend the throne.

But, I don’t mind.
In fact, I like it.
I can use her pride,
And I’ll bring her down with you.

Oh!

Duke of Gloucester,
Dutiful Gloucester,
Dutiful Gloucester,
Must fall behind.

And I’ll use her.
Yes, I’ll use her.
Dutiful Gloucester
Must fall behind.

Must fall behind (fall behind, fall, must fall behind),
Must fall behind (fall behind, fall, must fall behind),
Must fall behind (fall behind, fall, must fall behind),
Must fall behind.

Let her cast
Her magical spells.
Her true heart
Will shine right through.

But, I don’t mind.
In fact, I like it.
I can use her pride,
And I’ll bring her down with you.

Duke of Gloucester (Duke of Gloucester),
Dutiful Gloucester (dutiful Gloucester),
Dutiful Gloucester (dutiful Gloucester),
Must fall behind (fall behind).

And I’ll use her (and I’ll use her),
Yes, I’ll use her (yes, I will use her),
Dutiful Gloucester (dutiful Gloucester),
Must fall behind (fall behind, must fall behind),
Must fall behind.

And she’ll show her heart,
And you’ll be much maligned.

Fall behind, and you’ll fall behind.
Fall behind, and you’ll fall behind.
Fall behind, and you’ll fall behind.
Fall behind, and you’ll fall behind.

You’ll fall behind!

Shakespeare Uncovered Website

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

I promised to let you know when the Shakespeare Uncovered website was up. It is, and it’s a fantastic resource all Shakespeare teachers should know about.

First of all, you can actually watch full episodes of the series online. So even if you missed out the first time, it’s all there waiting for you now.

The Education section, the part where I contributed, boasts a collection of fantastic lesson plans on Shakespeare that use clips from the television show in class. The lessons are relatively short, so they can either be used on their own or worked into longer Shakespeare units you may already be planning. And if you want to see the bios for all of the members of the Advisory Board, you can find them here (mine is the fifth one down).

The series may be over, but the website is the gift that keeps on giving. So head on over to watch the show, play the games, and teach the lessons!

Shakespeare Song Parody: Saying Sooth

Friday, March 15th, 2013

This is the 27th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Saying Sooth
sung to the tune of “Bulletproof”

(With apologies to La Roux, and sayers of sooth…)

Looked there, saw that, got a sense;
I know your fate, don’t take offense.
Your future isn’t looking too upbeat.
I don’t mean to sound too harsh,
But please beware the Ides of March,
It’s a day for just not going in.

I bring you news that can’t be worse,
I have a gift, but it’s a curse;
My prophecy, surprisingly concrete.
Looked there, saw that, got a sense;
I know your fate, don’t take offense.
Your future isn’t looking too upbeat.

Hear me, Caesar.
I am saying sooth.
Hear me, Caesar.
I am saying sooth.

I won’t let you turn around,
Dismiss me now without a sound,
To show that you’re no easy man to scare.
Do, do, do your new accords,
Protect your skin from traitors’ swords?
The Ides of March are what you should beware.

Tick, tick, tick on the dial;
Your wife’s bad dreams beyond denial,
The Ides of March have come but haven’t gone.
I won’t let you turn around,
Dismiss me now without a sound:
A risky thing for betting your life on.

Hear me, Caesar.
I am saying sooth.
Hear me, Caesar.
I am saying sooth.

Hear me, I am saying sooth.
Hear me, I am saying sooth.

Hear me, Caesar.
I am saying sooth.
Hear me, Caesar.
I am saying sooth.

Shakespeare Anagram: Troilus and Cressida

Saturday, March 2nd, 2013

From Troilus and Cressida:

Here is such patchery, such juggling and such knavery! all the argument is a cuckold and a whore; a good quarrel to draw emulous factions and bleed to death upon.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Shame on dodo Congress, dealing us such a dud: a preventable sequester. Huh!

Don’t laugh a guttural laugh and hijack the economy for awkward political currency.

Shakespeare Song Parody: Three Caskets

Friday, March 1st, 2013

This is the 26th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Three Caskets
sung to the tune of “Four Minutes”

(With apologies to Madonna, Justin Timberlake, and Timbaland)

I’m on the spot
And gotta choose from three caskets,
(Fricki, fricki) three caskets. Hey!

Hey, come on, Portia.

Come on boy,
I’ve been waiting for somebody
To come pass this test.

Now, don’t waste time,
Tell me the rules,
Let me prove that I am the best.

Read each inscription,
Choose the right one,
And then open the lid.
Inside one, I am hid.

Girl, I can solve this test,
Just gotta show me where they are.
I’ll do as you have bid;
You’ll be glad that I did.

If you choose now,
You could lose now.
Take some more time;
No harm in pushing it back.

If I pick right,
And, hey, I just might,
This ordeal ends,
For now I’m living on the rack.

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.
You’re my man!

You’re my world!

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.

Gotta choose from three caskets, uh huh, three caskets.

Come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

That’s right, come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

Remember, this suitor test
Was my father’s invention, yeah.

So the Silver one holds what I deserve,
And then the Gold
Has what all men desire.

All that glisters isn’t gold, I should mention, yeah.

But if I choose the Lead,
It means I would give and hazard
All that I have for you.
Which I’d gladly do.

If you choose now,
You could lose now.
Take some more time;
No harm in pushing it back.

If I pick right,
And, hey, I just might,
This ordeal ends,
For now I’m living on the rack.

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.
You’re my man!

You’re my world!

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.

Gotta choose from three caskets, uh huh, three caskets.

Come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

That’s right, come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

Time to choose, yeah.

(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

Gonna choose the Lead casket… and there’s the girl.

Shakespeare Song Parody: End It Well

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

This is the 25th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

End It Well
sung to the tune of “Gives You Hell”

(With apologies to The All-American Rejects, and everyone else as well…)

I’m watching your work, Shakespeare,
With some tension in my face:
It’s one of your lesser-known plays.
Your heroine is risking
Her life on this rash chase;
I wonder how well that pays.

When you plan your plot,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.
When you write that play,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.

Now that part all worked out, though
The men have now gone to war,
And I’ve seen this plot before…
But still I’d really like to know
What this play has at its core,
Before I watch any more.

It’s better with a wedding.
It’s better than them dying.

When you plan your plot,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.
When you write that play,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.

If they sing a song,
As they dance along,
That would be swell.
Even if they don’t,
It should end well,
Hope you end it well.

I hope you end it well!

Bertram now thinks Helena is dead.
That’s often a very bad sign,
But it could still finish fine.

It’s better with a wedding.
It’s better than them dying.

When you plan your plot,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.
When you write that play,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.

If they sing a song,
As they dance along,
That would be swell.
Even if they don’t,
It should end well,
Hope you end it well.

It’s a “Problem Play.”
This could go either way.
Hope it won’t end like Tragedies;
They cause me dismay.
I’d try out a Romance,
Give a History a chance,
But I much prefer those Comedies you end so well.

When you plan your plot,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.
When you write that play,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.

If they sing a song,
As they dance along,
That would be swell.
Even if they don’t,
It should end well,
Hope you end it well.

When you plan your plot,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.
When you write that play,
Hope you end it well,
Hope you end it well.

If you’d end Act Five,
With them still alive,
That would be swell.
Some epilogue
Might end it well,
Hope you end it well.

When you end your play, I hope that you will end it well.

All will be well, as long as you will end it well.

Shakespeare Song Parody: Valentine

Friday, February 15th, 2013

This is the 24th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Valentine
rapped to the beat of “Back in Time”

(With apologies to Pitbull, and the Men in Black franchise…)

Please excuse me, lady.
Oh, yeah you, lady.
Now, let’s do Shakespeare, lady.
Yeah, let’s stage a play here, lady.

Please excuse me, lady.
Oh, yeah you, lady.
Now, let’s do Shakespeare, lady.
Yeah, let’s stage a play here, lady.

The Two Gentlemen.
Of Verona. In Milan.
At the Duke’s palace,
Proteus, Valentine, now it’s on.

Julia, oh Julia,
Oh, Julia, my sweet Julia,
You’re the one!

Milan equals doublet and hose, knee-length socks,
With a tanned leather belt to tie; I’ve got it!
Puffy sleeves, fancy shoes, a high stiff collar, and a feathered cap.
Like Valentine or Thurio, impress Silvia if they could, okay.
I’m tryna be reptilian with a friend pretense,
Underhanded, no-good,
I’m a liar, a cheat, a fabricator, and a
Falsifier, equivocator, out of hand a
Trickster, dissimulator, as I planned a
Way that I can consummate her.
To wrong my friend this way, much shame will be mine.
But to satisfy Proteus, I have to cross Valentine.

Silvia, oh Silvia,
Oh, Silvia, my sweet Silvia,
You’re the one!

I got the girl, yeah, out in the wood,
To win her over, any way I could.
That’s when you came.
Two Gentlemen, we meet again.
I professed my love. It wasn’t enough.
And then I just lost control, got a little bit rough.
I’m glad you came and intervened.
I hope that I can still be redeemed.
You know I’m sorry, I couldn’t fool ya,
And Sebastian’s identity learned: it’s Julia.
To behave this way, much shame has been mine.
But to reconcile Proteus, I have to love Valentine.

Julia, oh Julia,
Oh, Julia, my sweet Julia,
You’re the one!

How Real is Richard?

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

It’s been exciting to see Shakespeare so much in the news lately. The confirmation of the discovery King Richard the Third’s skeleton last week has thrust our beloved Bard back into the international spotlight. But just how relevant is Shakespeare to this discovery? How closely related is Shakespeare’s classic villain to the original owner of the bones found under the Leicester parking lot?

Shakespeare wrote that which we call History plays, but these are plays and not histories. Shakespeare often wrote about “real” people and events, but he always put his unique take on it. He could change any details that he wanted. Did you know that the real Hotspur was 23 years older than Prince Hal, even though the two men were portrayed as contemporaries in Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV? That Rutland, killed as a small child in Shakespeare’s 3 Henry VI, was actually older than his brothers George and Richard? That there were two different men named Edmund Mortimer, conflated into a single character by Shakespeare? And obviously, no matter how historical his characters, we all understand that he certainly was willing to put words in their mouths.

None of this matters, of course. Saying that Shakespeare got it wrong misses the point entirely. Shakespeare’s intent was to create entertaining theatrical plays. And Richard III is one of the most enduring and popular works of art ever to spring from the human imagination. So, yeah, I’d say Shakespeare actually got it right, wouldn’t you? An archeological discovery can tell us about history, and this is a particularly exciting discovery at that, but it sheds no new light on Shakespeare’s work. We already knew that Shakespeare based his work on Tudor historians, and that he shared their bias towards the Tudor view of history.

So when we ask whether characters from Shakespeare are “real” or not, it may not be such a binary question. I would prefer instead to think of it as a spectrum. More specifically, I have created a seven-point scale to compare how real the characters from Shakespeare actually are.

Enjoy!

* * *
Level Seven
Historical Characters Doing Historical Things
Examples: Henry VIII, Henry V

Even at the highest level of Shakespeare’s reality-based characters, there is still a lot of spin-doctoring going on. Shakespeare doesn’t just write about his country’s greatest heroes without a little glorification. But the stories Shakespeare tells about characters at Level Seven are fairly consistent with their historical accounts. Shakespeare himself must have been at least somewhat impressed with his own account of the life of Henry VIII when he originally gave his play the title All is True.

* * *
Level Six
Historical Characters Doing Speculative Historical Things
Examples: Julius Caesar, Cleopatra

I wanted to make a distinction between historical figures that Shakespeare wrote about from relatively recent time periods, and those from antiquity. There are numerous historical accounts of the lives of the ancient Greek and Roman leaders, so Shakespeare was actually writing from sources, but there is only so much faith that we can put in them. The primary difference between Level Six and Level Seven is the amount of time that has passed since the historical figures lived.

* * *
Level Five
Historical Characters Doing Highly-Speculative Politically-Convenient Historical Things
Examples: Richard III, Joan La Pucelle

Here we can put the characters that Shakespeare had a political reason to vilify. We see a version of history, but it’s a version that’s unapologetically slanted in the direction that Shakespeare’s audiences or benefactors would have appreciated most. Shakespeare is still writing mostly from sources, but the sources may themselves be politically biased, or Shakespeare just felt free to add his own spin to events as he wanted to portray them. The character of Richard III can go here.

* * *
Level Four
Historical Characters Doing Non-Historical Things
Examples: John Gower, Macbeth

There really was a historical Macbeth, but it’s doubtful he did many of the things attributed to him by either Shakespeare or history. Sure, Shakespeare was writing from a historical source, and had political reasons to vilify Macbeth, but the story is so far divorced from reality that we really need a new category to describe it. Level Four is for a character who really lived, but isn’t necessarily portrayed doing the things the original historical figure would actually have done.

* * *
Level Three
Legendary Characters Doing Legendary Things
Examples: Agamemnon, King Lear

Did any of these people really exist? And if they did, are the stories about them true? Probably not. But the stories were passed down from generation to generation, either in oral traditions or written texts, as though they were true. We can’t prove that there wasn’t some actual human being in the dark backward and abysm of time that inspired the legend. Level Three quantifies the precise amount of benefit-of-the-doubt I’m willing to give to that possibility.

* * *
Level Two
Characters Doing Fictional Things Who Couldn’t Possibly be Based on Real People (*snicker*)
Examples: Falstaff, Polonius

These are fictional characters, but audiences at the time would have understood the public figures they were based on. Maybe. If Polonius was based on William Cecil, Lord Burghley, then he could be placed one step above a completely fictional character. This is Level Two. Shakespeare expressly denied that Falstaff was meant to be John Oldcastle to satisfy one of Oldcastle’s noble descendants. But what was Shakespeare’s original name for the character Falstaff? It was John Oldcastle.

* * *
Level One
Fictional Characters Doing Fictional Things
Examples: Puck, Shylock

These are purely fictional characters, invented by Shakespeare or his literary sources. They are not real people. They are not based on real people. We will not be finding their bones under any parking lots. We are not worried about pleasing their descendants. If Shakespeare had simply confined himself to his own considerable imagination, we would still have an impressive panoply of Shakespearean characters to entertain us. But the conversations and controversies surrounding his plays would not be nearly as interesting.