If I could only do one…

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This is the fifth in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my final lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Dark Comedy (or Problem play), Measure for Measure, using “U” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Just, but Unjust

Full Dutch must run, but puts up Curt Sub. Curt Sub (plus Humdrum Guru) must run Full Dutch’s turf. Curt Sub shuns lust, thus Curst Slut must shut up smut hut. Lustful Stud plucks un-nupt Cub Mum. Curt Sub busts Lustful Stud plus Cub Mum, but must snuff just Lustful Stud. Such junk luck! Numbskull Cutup hunts trump club: Trustful Nun. Full Dutch trusts Curt Sub, but must cull turf hubbub. Thus, Full Dutch turns Untruthful Church Guy, lurks hushful.

Punchdrunk Fuzz busts Pub Bum plus Dumbstruck Chum, but Humdrum Guru chucks such dumb busts. Numbskull Cutup drums up Trustful Nun. Trustful Nun must churn up Curt Sub’s ruth, but just churns up Curt Sub’s lust! Curt Sub puts crux thus: Trustful Nun succumbs, Lustful Stud’s sprung; Trustful Nun puts up fuss, Lustful Stud’s hurt. Such scum! Trustful Nun burns up, must burst truthful lungs, but Curt Sub shuts such bluffs up. Turf bunch trusts Curt Sub such, Trustful Nun’s slurs must rust. Nuts!

Untruthful Church Guy (Full Dutch) lulls jug-thrust Lustful Stud. Trustful Nun unfurls Curt Sub’s crux. Lustful Stud puts up spurn, but blurts much flux, succumbs, puts thumbs up. Trustful Nun burns up. Untruthful Church Guy lulls Trustful Nun, curbs Lustful Stud’s pluck. Punchdrunk Fuzz busts Pub Bum. Numbskull Cutup busts up jug-thrust Pub Bum. Numbskull Cutup murmurs untruthful Full Dutch slurs, stuns Untruthful Church Guy. But Humdrum Guru tuts Curt Sub, must gush Full Dutch’s surplus.

Untruthful Church Guy drums up Curt Sub’s Ur-Crush. Ur-Crush turns Untruthful Trustful Nun, humps Curt Sub. Dusk plus untruthful duds tuck up bluff. Curt Sub buys hump bluff, but burns Trustful Nun, puts up bull: Jug Grunt must snuff Lustful Stud, Curt Sub must clutch Lustful Stud’s skull. Ugh!

Gruff Thug duns Pub Bum cut Lustful Stud’s scruff plus Drunk Grump’s. Untruthful Church Guy turns Jug Grunt; Lustful Stud puffs. Drunk Grump puts up much fuss. Flu-Struck Mug punts. Such luck! Thus, Jug Grunt blurs truth, puts up Lustful Stud snuff, but trucks Curt Sub untruthful skull (Flu-Struck Mug’s). Numbskull Cutup bugs Untruthful Church Guy. Curt Sub buys skull bluff.

Full Dutch turns up. Trustful Nun sums up Curt Sub tumult. Full Dutch murmurs Curt Sub’s just, thus Trustful Nun must trump up slurs, busts Trustful Nun. Truthful Church Guy plus Ur-Crush pump up Trustful Nun’s crux, but Full Dutch trusts Curt Sub. Full Dutch must run. Untruthful Church Guy turns up. Numbskull Cutup slurs Untruthful Church Guy. Humdrum Guru busts Untruthful Church Guy. Numbskull Cutup tugs Untruthful Church Guy’s duds, thus unfurls… Full Dutch! Curt Sub must blush. Numbskull Cutup must skulk.

Full Dutch busts Curt Sub. Curt Sub must nup Ur-Crush. Curt Sub nups Ur-Crush, but Full Dutch must snuff Curt Sub: “Pull Lustful Stud’s plug, pull Curt Sub’s plug. Snuff plus snuff. Rust crusts up rust, plus trust burns such trust. Lust churns up lust, but just turns much unjust. Thus, trust us, truth must snuff Curt Sub. Rush!” Ur-Crush sulks, duns Trustful Nun murmur ruth. Trustful Nun succumbs, murmurs much ruth.

Trustful Nun stuns Full Dutch, but Full Dutch must snuff Curt Sub. Full Dutch hurls Jug Grunt bum’s rush. Jug Grunt must blush, but drums up Drunk Grump, plus… Lustful Stud! Trustful Nun jumps. Curt Sub puffs. Ur-Crush bursts. Full Dutch bumps Humdrum Guru plus Jug Grunt up turf rungs. Lustful Stud must nup Cub Mum. Drunk Grump’s sprung. Numbskull Cutup’s sunk, must suck up just lumps, must nup Smut Punk. Trustful Nun’s up, up, up!

But nun-lust struck Full Dutch. Full Dutch sums up crux. Um…

Bonus Lipogram: The Tempest

From Julius Caesar:

Let me tell you, Cassius, you yourself
Are much condemn’d to have an itching palm;
To sell and mart your offices for gold
To undeservers.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Once a scandal fully surrounds some Democratic governor, the other side could smugly flaunt it every time one of them plays as foul.

It’s time once again to check in on what searches people have done to find themselves at Shakespeare Teacher, and to respond in the name of fun and public service. All of the following searches brought people to this site in the past week.

googleplex fridaysThis feature happens to share its name with the headquarters of Google Inc., located in Mountain View, California. I have no idea what goes on there on Fridays.

how come king james didn’t like macbethI don’t grant your premise, unless you are referring to the historical figure and not the Shakespeare play. In fact, you might say that the play was actually written specifically to appeal to the new king. Witches were a fascination for James, so he’d have been intrigued from the start. Also, James was a direct descendent of both the historical Malcolm and the historical Banquo. Notice that the witches make a prophecy that doesn’t actually come true in the play, which is an odd dramatic convention. They prophecy that Banquo will not be king, but will instead be the father to a line of kings. Later, Macbeth is shown a vision of eight kings along with the ghost of Banquo who points at them for his. The eighth king is meant to be King James, as he is the eighth king in the house of Stewart. The prophecy doesn’t come true in the play; it comes true in the audience.

presidents with the letter xSo far, it’s just Nixon, but the night is young.

shakespeare film 2010You do realize you’re skipping over a whole year, right? No interest in The Tempest with Helen Mirren as Prospero? Not anxiously awaiting the new Hamlet with Screech and the Chocolate Rain guy? Okay. From what I can tell, the Shakespeare film event of 2010 will be King Lear with Anthony Hopkins in the title role and Naomi Watts, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Keira Knightley as his three extremely beautiful daughters. Also, Eddie Murphy – I kid you not – is planning to do a version of Romeo & Juliet. I imagine he will be playing both roles, but that’s pure speculation.

shakespeare king henry lambasts halI was amused to see this one because I used the phrase “lambasts Hal” in my first Shakespeare Lipogram, and I chose the verb because it only has the vowel “A” in it. But I wonder if you’re really looking for that scene from Henry IV, Part One, or if you’re actually looking for this scene from Henry IV, Part Two. It’s one of the great scenes from one of Shakespeare’s lesser-known works and was even listed as #38 on my Top 50 scenes in all of Shakespeare.

Hal finds his deathly-ill father asleep, assumes he’s dead, and takes the crown off with him. When he returns, the King’s awake, and lambasts Hal. They reconcile, and Henry gives his son advice for how to be king. The language is… there’s no adjective I could use that you wouldn’t say “Well, yeah, it’s Shakespeare” but the language is particularly rich and evocative in this scene. I did an anagram of a quote from it a while back, but I’m surprised I still haven’t done the most timely quote of them all: “Be it thy course to busy giddy minds/ With foreign quarrels; that action, hence borne out,/ May waste the memory of the former days.” It’s even got a “Q” in it. I’ll have to save that one for a rainy day.

is macbeth is worth readingMost definitely. I suggest gathering a group of friends together, dividing up the roles, and reading it out loud. Trust me on this one. That’s how to read Macbeth.

I leave the task of responding to the remaining search terms to my readers:

why is shakespeare is one of the founding fatherswhat did the tudors bring back to England

was shakespeare a teacher?

slings and arrows on demand time warner

which president read macbeth before he die

how did shakespeare die on youtube

 

On computers, I’m documents folders possess,
But in real life, the folder, preventing a mess;
I’m a column for soldiers, or pieces in chess;
And a tool that you’d use to remove the excess.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by a Glo County H.S. student. See comments for answer.

Well, I finally got the reading group started up again. A member generously offered to host in January, I got the invites out, and we’ve already got enough RSVPs to hold the reading (any less than four, and I cancel).

We’ll be reading All’s Well that Ends Well, which is a play that’s pretty far down the list of plays that I’m familiar with. I think I’ve read it only twice, but both times I had the chance to discuss the play with others: once in a graduate course, and once for a discussion group I was part of. We’ve never done a reading of it, even though my group has been doing monthly readings for over six years now. I have also never seen a production of it, though I may check out the BBC DVD before the reading.

The bottom line is that I’m pretty excited to revisit a play that I remember enjoying very much but don’t necessarily remember why. It didn’t make my Top 25 plays last year, which is not surprising given my limited recollection of the story, but somehow Helena made my list of Top 50 characters, so I guess I’m not completely out to lunch.

One of my favorite scenes (though apparently not one of my Top 50 scenes in Shakespeare) was the scene where Parolles is blindfolded and the soldiers speak in a made-up language to convince him that they are enemy soldiers speaking a foreign language.

Anyway, are there any big All’s Well fans out there? Let’s make some noise. What about this play does it for you? What do we have to look forward to?

Via One Little Fish comes a very funny, very timely video:

More information about the project here. The video has received over 1 million hits, spreading awareness about an important issue, and making a powerful statement about activism in the information age.

My organization just held an event today that had 7th grade students giving persuasive PowerPoint presentations on current events issues ranging from gun control to the death penalty. I served as emcee, and had a lot of fun riling up the students about speaking out on issues and taking an active part in their democracy.

Perhaps for the next round we should consider using video. I’m already planning a project with students to create Public Service Announcements about environmental issues. Creating current events PSAs in social studies class seems like the logical next step. I’ll keep you posted.

UPDATE: In the post, I said that the video has received over 1 million hits. Actually, the video topped 1 million views on its first day.

This is the fourth in a five-part series of Shakespeare Lipograms. For my fourth lipogram, I have chosen to summarize a Tragedy, Hamlet, using “O” as the only vowel.

Enjoy!

Forlorn Son

Two on post show Old Crown Lord’s Ghost to Bosom Cohort, who looks on spook from top to bottom. Bosom Cohort knows to show Ghost to Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son dons low moods, won’t show known Crown Lord props. Forlorn Son broods:

“O God! O God! How worlds rot! How’s Pop forgot so soon? Not two months lost, no, not so, not two. So good to comfort Mom. Now – oh no! – to go from joy to sorrow. Crown Lord mocks protocol to hook control of stronghold so pronto to follow Pop’s drop-off. Took Mom for consort too soon, too soon. O, Mom shows so hollow! So not cool.”

Cross Hotblood told Moon Tot not to grow too fond of Forlorn Son, for Moon Tot’s born too lowbrow to show Forlorn Son how to don crowns. Top Lord told Cross Hotblood world-won words: “Son, do not borrow – not from, nor to – for to do so oft shows not gold nor cohort to follow.” Top Lord told Moon Tot not to grow too fond of Forlorn Son too, for boys’ vows oft show too hollow. Moon Tot conforms.

Bosom Cohort shows Ghost to Forlorn Son. Ghost told Forlorn Son to follow. Ghost shows Forlorn Son books of sorrow, from Ghost’s own bro, Crown Lord. “Son, for honor, go knock on Crown Lord’s door, who took to rob Pop of crown, of growth, of consort – lost! Do not scold Consort Mom. Now go!” Forlorn Son opts to go from low moods to mock fool.

Crown Lord now longs to know roots of Forlorn Son’s odd moods. Top Lord shows Crown Lord how Forlorn Son’s soft spot for Moon Tot grows odd moods. Consort Mom looks to how Forlorn Son sobs for Pop for roots of Forlorn Son’s odd moods. Forlorn Son shows two old school cohorts (who snoop for Crown Lord) how loss of Pop’s crown grows odd moods. Crown Lord knows not of Ghost’s words. Top Lord shows Show Troop to Forlorn Son. Show Troop shows off for Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son shows Show Troop how to form shows to work on crooks.

Crown Lord snoops on Forlorn Son. Top Lord snoops too. Forlorn Son broods solo: “To go on, or not to go on? Moot. To drop off? To nod down to stop lots of wrongs? Or to go to post-worlds of doom? No! Horror works on lots of cold-foot poltroons. So, do go on. Do go on. Soft! How now, Moon Tot?” Moon Tot confronts Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son scorns Moon Tot to go to God’s fold.

Crown Lord cottons to go to Show Troop’s show “Knock Off.” Crown Lord holds no joy to look on Show Troop’s show. Crown Lord opts to go, so Forlorn Son now knows. For Crown Lord to go off shows proof of Ghost Pop’s word. Top Lord told Forlorn Son to go to Consort Mom’s room. Forlorn Son looks on Crown Lord’s stoop to roods. Forlorn Son won’t knock off Crown Lord to go to God. Forlorn Son holds on. Forlorn Son shocks Consort Mom. Top Lord snoops. Forlorn Son swords… Crown Lord? No, Top Lord. Oops. Forlorn Son scolds Consort Mom, so Ghost Pop shows to stop Forlorn Son short.

Crown Lord books Forlorn Son’s two old school cohorts to convoy Forlorn Son to London. Forlorn Son looks on Oslo Lord’s troops. Oslo Lord’s honor grows on Forlorn Son. Cross Hotblood shows to look for Crown Lord’s blood. Lots of townsfolk show for Cross Hotblood. Crown Lord knows to look to Forlorn Son for Cross Hotblood’s honor. Cross Hotblood looks on Moon Tot, who shows odd moods. Cross Hotblood vows to knock off Forlorn Son. Moon Tot drowns.

Forlorn Son bolts both old school cohorts. Morons. Forlorn Son shows tomb-lot to Bosom Cohort. Two Tomb-lot Clowns fool to Forlorn Son. Both show Old Fool’s crown to Forlorn Son, who broods: “Forsooth, poor Old Fool. Known to stronghold folks, Bosom Cohort. How oft Old Fool told stronghold folks how to roll. How doom follows Old Fool now. Go to Mom’s room, Old Fool, show how fools rot. Mom won’t howl. Bosom Cohort, follow. Lords or lowbrows both go to worms’ food, or for chocks to stop hooch pots. Soft! Crown Lord shows!” Forlorn Son looks on Crown Lord, who comforts Consort Mom. Cross Hotblood sobs to go down to Moon Tot’s tomb. Forlorn Son hops down to confront Cross Hotblood. Both opt for swords.

Cross Hotblood blots hot sword. Crown Lord blots strong port. Both form doom for Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son shows. Forlorn Son bows to Cross Hotblood for Top Lord boo-boo. Both hold swords for sport row. Both go. Crown Lord holds port to honor Forlorn Son. Forlorn Son longs not for port. Consort Mom downs strong port. Oops.

Forlorn Son shows strong to notch two blows on Cross Hotblood. Cross Hotblood swords Forlorn Son. Ow! Forlorn Son swords Cross Hotblood, who drops hot sword. Forlorn Son now holds Cross Hotblood’s hot sword. Cross Hotblood now holds Forlorn Son’s cold sword. Forlorn Son swords Cross Hotblood, who knows both now look on doom. Consort Mom drops from strong port. Cross Hotblood told Forlorn Son of hot sword, of strong port, of Crown Lord’s non-honor. Forlorn Son swords Crown Lord, floods Crown Lord’s gob of strong port. “Follow Mom!” Crown Lord drops off.

Forlorn Son looks to Cross Hotblood. Both smooth off storms of loss for honor. Cross Hotblood drops off. Forlorn Son stoops down. Forlorn Son sponsors Oslo Lord to hold crown now. Forlorn Son drops off. Bosom Cohort croons: “Good morrow, good crown lord’s son. Go to God on good songs.” London Lord shows to post word of Forlorn Son’s two old school cohorts lost. Oslo Lord shows, now top dog. Both sob for loss. Oslo Lord drops word for troops to go shoot.

Next Lipogram: Measure for Measure

From King John:

There’s a good grandam.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Gee, short anagram. Odd.

It’s time once again to check in on what searches people have done to find themselves at Shakespeare Teacher, and to respond in the name of fun and public service. All of the following searches brought people to this site in the past week.

shakespeare’s macbeth powerpointThe following image was found on a hard drive from a laptop that dates back to the early 17th century. Some have speculated that it might be from Shakespeare’s famous Macbeth PowerPoint, otherwise lost to history.

Oh, you probably meant a PowerPoint about Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Nevermind.

why did the tudors like king johnI’ll assume you meant the man and not the play, since Elizabeth was the only Tudor left by the time the play was written. But either way, the answer would probably be the same. In the early 13th century, King John showed open defiance against Pope Innocent III over church appointments in England. An ongoing battle of wills resulted in John’s excommunication from the church. When King Henry VIII willfully broke from the church in the 16th century, King John was a convenient symbol of English independence from Rome.

last line as you like it shakespeareHere it is:

If I were a woman I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.

It is the end of an epilogue spoken by the actor who played Rosalind in the play, who in Shakespeare’s time would have been male. In the play, Rosalind (a young woman) disguises herself as Ganymede (a young man), and then agrees to pretend to be Rosalind. The line “if I were a woman…” is funny because it reminds us that what we’ve just seen was a boy playing a girl playing a boy playing a girl.

who was the father of king henry the eighthKing Henry the Seventh.

how did shakespeare and king henry the 8th meetKing Henry the Eighth died before Shakespeare was born. But Shakespeare wrote a play about him.

shakespeare 6th grade which play?When I’m working with 6th-grade students specifically, I like to choose a play that has resonance with ancient civilizations, which is what they’ll be learning about in social studies. Julius Caesar is probably the most age appropriate selection of that group.

I leave the task of responding to the remaining search terms to my readers:

descendants of king arthurword that end with the letter x for 5 years old

“why did shakespeare use long speeches”

tudors william shakespeare what he
wanted to be when he was a child

what is the symbolic value of the ghost of banquo

i am drawn to the letter y what does it mean