This is the fourth of a series of parodies, where I change the lyrics to a popular song to make it about Shakespeare.

I guess we all knew this one was coming, so let’s just get it out of the way.

Call Me Lady
sung to the tune of “Call Me Maybe”

(With apologies to Carly Rae Jepsen and to former fans of this once-proud blog…)

It’s such a wonderful thing,
Just what some prophecies bring;
They said that you would be king,
But he is in your way.

I got your note from the heath;
Look like a flowering wreath,
But be the snake underneath,
‘Cause he is in your way.

Your choice affects me;
Yet thy nature doth perplex me.
Come spirits, here unsex me.
No one will suspect thee, baby!

Hey, you just got home,
And this is crazy!
But be a man and
You’ll call me Lady.

It’s good to know what
Will your fate be.
So make it happen,
Then call me Lady.

Hey, you just got home,
And this is crazy!
But be a man and
You’ll call me Lady.

And all the other Thanes,
Will kneel and praise me,
When I’m their Queen and
Not just a Lady.

You took your time with the kill;
It takes more courage than skill;
If you won’t do it, I will,
‘Cause he is in your way.

Just take your cue from the witch;
Don’t tell me you have no itch;
Don’t mean to be such a bitch,
But he is in your way.

Your choice affects me;
Yet thy nature doth perplex me.
Come spirits, here unsex me.
No one will suspect thee, baby!

Hey, you just got home,
And this is crazy!
But be a man and
You’ll call me Lady.

It’s good to know what
Will your fate be.
So make it happen,
Then call me Lady.

Hey, you just got home,
And this is crazy!
But be a man and
You’ll call me Lady.

And all the other Thanes,
Will kneel and praise me,
When I’m their Queen and
Not just a Lady.

Before resorting to the knife, I never went mad.
I never went mad. And now I’m so, so mad.
Before resorting to the knife, I never went mad.
Look at that blood splat.

So call me Lady!