A friend asked me if I was going to do song parodies for all of Shakespeare’s plays.

I don’t know if I can commit to that right now, but if I were going to do it, at some point I’d probably have to resort to something like this.

Enjoy!

The Title
sung to the tune of “The Fighter”

(With apologies to Gym Class Heroes, Ryan Tedder, and every teacher who ever had to put up with me…)

Yo!

I want to tell you about these two key men.
It’s not a tale of one or three men.
I don’t think these are identical twin men,
But I do know at the least that they are kinsmen.
A kinsman’s a relation, you know, like a cousin.
You could have a few or you could have several dozen.
These men are related to more than a few men,
But please remember there are only two men.

And not just two kinsmen, but these two are noble,
A big deal for a culture not socially mobile.
And these two noble kinsmen can get into adventures,
And that’s why Shakespeare and Fletcher wrote this play.

You’ve a parody up ahead,
About a play you haven’t read.
You have lyrics to fill;
How you gonna do it?

Shakespeare fan, Bard lover,
Judge that book by its cover.
A few words, takes no time,
It is clear to me, clear to me, clear to me:
It’s in the title; it’s in the title,
Right in the title.
It’s become clear to me, clear to me, clear to me:
Just read the title.

Noble’s like a duke or prince,
And if they’re both noble it kind of makes sense,
Because noble was something that came from birth,
Not like today when we talk about inner worth.

So if one kinsman’s noble, the other is, too.
If your kinsman’s noble, then so are you.
And there are exactly two: don’t add a third,
And a single kinsman is absurd.

You’ve a parody up ahead,
About a play you haven’t read.
You have lyrics to fill;
How you gonna do it?

Shakespeare fan, Bard lover,
Judge that book by its cover.
A few words, takes no time,
It is clear to me, clear to me, clear to me:
It’s in the title; it’s in the title,
Right in the title.
It’s become clear to me, clear to me, clear to me:
Just read the title.

Everybody hold your books up!
What’s that cover say? (Hey!)
What’s that cover say? (Hey!)
What’s that cover say? (Hey!)
What’s that cover say? (Hey!)

You want jokes about Arcite and Palamon (you do!).
But you won’t find them in the tale I’m on (come on!).
‘Cause I’m still a big phony;
I just read the dramatis personae.

Shakespeare fan, Bard lover,
Judge that book by its cover.
A few words, takes no time,
It is clear to me, clear to me, clear to me:
It’s in the title; it’s in the title,
Right in the title.
It’s become clear to me, clear to me, clear to me:
Just read the title.

You’ve a parody up ahead,
About a play you haven’t read.
You have lyrics to fill;
How you gonna do it?