This is the 26th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Three Caskets
sung to the tune of “Four Minutes”

(With apologies to Madonna, Justin Timberlake, and Timbaland)

I’m on the spot
And gotta choose from three caskets,
(Fricki, fricki) three caskets. Hey!

Hey, come on, Portia.

Come on boy,
I’ve been waiting for somebody
To come pass this test.

Now, don’t waste time,
Tell me the rules,
Let me prove that I am the best.

Read each inscription,
Choose the right one,
And then open the lid.
Inside one, I am hid.

Girl, I can solve this test,
Just gotta show me where they are.
I’ll do as you have bid;
You’ll be glad that I did.

If you choose now,
You could lose now.
Take some more time;
No harm in pushing it back.

If I pick right,
And, hey, I just might,
This ordeal ends,
For now I’m living on the rack.

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.
You’re my man!

You’re my world!

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.

Gotta choose from three caskets, uh huh, three caskets.

Come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

That’s right, come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

Remember, this suitor test
Was my father’s invention, yeah.

So the Silver one holds what I deserve,
And then the Gold
Has what all men desire.

All that glisters isn’t gold, I should mention, yeah.

But if I choose the Lead,
It means I would give and hazard
All that I have for you.
Which I’d gladly do.

If you choose now,
You could lose now.
Take some more time;
No harm in pushing it back.

If I pick right,
And, hey, I just might,
This ordeal ends,
For now I’m living on the rack.

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.
You’re my man!

You’re my world!

Choose the right box.

Gotta choose from three caskets to win the girl.

Loose the tight locks.

Gotta choose from three caskets, uh huh, three caskets.

Come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

That’s right, come, give it up.
No need to be so shy, lock.

You gotta read my thoughts:
(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

Time to choose, yeah.

(pick lead, pick lead, pick lead)

Gonna choose the Lead casket… and there’s the girl.