The year was 2002. I was teaching an advanced graduate course on Shakespeare, and I chose to give my final exam as a take-home. The questions included true/false, short answer, extended response, and one long essay.

I mentioned this while having dinner one night with friends. Brian, who runs a successful business he built himself, scoffed at the very notion of a take-home final in the age of the Internet. Couldn’t the students just look up all of the answers? This was around the time when people were starting to use “Google” as a verb, and many students were more tech-savvy than their professors. I assured Brian that the test would still be challenging as a take-home, but he remained unconvinced.

Brian offered me a wager. He would take the exam along with my students, despite not having taken the course or even knowing very much about Shakespeare. As long as he could research and plagiarize as much as he wanted, he claimed he could pass my final. I accepted the bet.

In the weeks to come, Brian became consumed with the task. He researched each question, writing and rewriting answers to perfection. He put way more time into that final than any of the students, and he plagiarized without shame. But, he completed the final on the same schedule as the students, and ended up scoring a 91 out of a possible 100 points. This was slightly below the class average, but he clearly won the bet.

However, he did admit that, in order to be successful on the final, he had to learn a whole lot about Shakespeare along the way. He may not have taken the course, but he ended up doing much of the work he would have had to do anyway, engaging with the material throughout the process.

It’s worth noting at this point that the exam only represented 10% of the final grade. Much more of the course was about participation in class discussions and completing projects. But with Brian’s self-guided work, he was able to earn 9.1% of the course grade without ever setting foot in my classroom. Had he attempted some of the projects, and applied the same level of drive to them, he could have earned even more points, learning even more about Shakespeare in the process.

This is a good way to think about assessment. We define what students should be able to do after a unit of study, and we define a way to measure whether or not they’ve learned it. The unit of study, then, should be designed to help students succeed in the measurement. If that sounds too much like teaching to the test, that’s fine, but then we should start designing tests worth teaching to.

This is the idea of the performance task. Rather than having students fill out multiple-choice bubble sheets, they do authentic tasks. They understand how the skills they are learning in school are applied in the real world. And when students show they are able to transfer their learning into unfamiliar contexts, as they should in any good performance task, they demonstrate deep understanding of the skills and concepts being covered.

So, if a student can succeed in the teacher-created assessment before the instruction, is the instruction really necessary? If students can take the initiative to demonstrate their meeting the same learning goals some other way, shouldn’t they get credit for it? And if real-world authenticity is the aim, shouldn’t students be able to use the same tools a real-world businessman would use when working toward the same goal?

These are questions we’re now grappling with in assessment. But I thank Brian for giving me a head start in thinking about them so many years ago.

From Love’s Labour’s Lost:

They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

At George Bush’s last gala event, they ran a defense of a past he can’t.

This is the 33rd in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

The Crazy Song
sung to the tune of “The Lazy Song”

(With apologies, once again, to Bruno Mars…)

Today, I feel like I have no sanity;
I just may go out of my head.
No sense in sifting through the facts;
I have no causes for my acts,
‘Cause today I swear I just have no sanity.

I’m gonna beg my best friend to prolong his stay.
If he agrees, it proves my wife’s gone astray.
Nobody’s gon’ tell me it can’t.

I’ll poison his drink, make him feel deadly woozy,
Then I’ll turn on my wife, calling her a petty floozy,
‘Cause in my castle, I’m the freakin’ man.

Oh yes, I said it. I said it.
It’s good to be the king.

Today, I feel like I have no sanity;
I just may go out of my head.
No sense in sifting through the facts;
I have no causes for my acts,
‘Cause today I swear I just have no sanity,
No sense at all.

No sense at all.

Tomorrow I’ll wake up, and I’ll call for my guy,
To take the bastard out, and abandon her to die,
And he’ll exit pursued by a bear.
(Omigod! It’s a bear!)
Yeah!

I’ll allow my “winter’s” tale to elide sixteen years,
As Aristotle’s unity of time disappears;
‘Cause when it comes to rules, I don’t care.

Oh yes, I said it. I said it.
It’s good to be the king.

Today, I feel like I have no sanity;
I just may go out of my head.
No sense in sifting through the facts;
I have no causes for my acts,
‘Cause today I swear I just have no sanity,
No sense at all.

I won’t worry ’bout a judging glare,
‘Cause nobody here would dare.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I won’t realize the statue’s my wife,
But instead I’ll believe it came to life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, today, I feel like I have no sanity;
I just may go out of my head.
No sense in sifting through the facts;
I have no causes for my acts,
‘Cause today I swear I just have no sanity.
No sense at all.

No sense at all.

No sense at all.

I’m a smoke-spewing chimney that turns the sky gray;
Poker chips that a player has put into play;
As an actor, one Eliot Ness I’d portray;
I’m a pile of books; or a large mound of hay.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

From Henry VI, Part One:

Alas, this is a child, a silly dwarf!
It cannot be this weak and writhled shrimp
Should strike such terror to his enemies.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Warlike hurts, or deaths we cry at, in Boston lie.

Discuss hardships with kids and let them cherish familial relations.

This is the 32nd in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

The Bastard
based on the song “Jack Sparrow”

(With apologies to Lonely Island, Michael Bolton, and the Walt Disney corporation…)

[Messina: Don Pedro, Don John, Leonato, Claudio, Benedick]

P: Signior Claudio, and Signior Benedick, my
dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell
him we shall stay here at the least a month,
and he heartily prays some occasion may
detain us longer.

L: Let me bid you welcome, my lord:
being reconciled to the prince your
brother, I owe you all duty.

J: I thank you:
I am not of many words,
but I thank you.

L: Please it your Grace lead on? [Exit]

J: Boys, let’s get to it…

P: Here we go…

B: Claudio, Benedick, Don Pedro, Don John…

J: Yeah!

C: The night starts now…

B: On Leonato’s tract,
The boys are back!

C: The night starts now!

B: Night starts now,
‘Cause we’re back from the war;
You know we’re all gearing up
For a little R&R.

J: Yeah, yeah!

P: My soldiers proved to be the paragon
Of defenders of the Kingdom of Aragon.

J: Come on!

C: Enemy retreating
As we’re taking to the field;
All the rebels quake and tremble
And they’re quickly gonna yield.
Sword in my hand, and a pistol I’ve got;
You’ll either get cut, get stabbed, or get shot.

J: This is the tale
Of Don John the Bastard;
Stood up to the prince,
And challenged his place.

B: What?

J: Now he’s taken back,
Trusted with a muzzle;
Better a canker in his hedge,
Than a rose in his grace.

P: Yeah, that was kind of weird,
But we’re here catching up;
We’re soldiers back from war,
And now our thoughts have turned to love.

J: Misbegotten.

C: I have set my sights
On Leonato’s daughter;
I liked before the war,
But in peace I think I got her.

J: Half-blooded.

B:Watch it girl, cause I ain’t
Your “getting wed” guy,
More like the “insult you,
And then get inside your head” guy.

J: Yeah, yeah.

B: Beatrice and I
Have been in a merry war,
But to be perfectly honest, I…

J: Now back to the good part!

From the day he was born,
He wore the bar sinister.

B: No!

J: In his melancholy face,
Is a mouth that would bite.

He’s the black sheep of the clan,
The trickster of Messina.

P: Uh huh.

J: But knowing his ill birth,
Can you begrudge him his fight?

B: Yeah, we know what a bastard is.

P: Put the war in the past
And forgive old debts, come on.

J: Illegitimate.

B: What?

J: Love child.

C: No!

P: It’s a time for mirth,
So don’t dwell on birth, come on.

J: Nullius filius.

B: Nope.

J: Bastard-born.

B: Wrong.

C: Don John, we’re really gonna need you to focus up.

J: Roger that, let me show you what I mean.

B: Wait.

J: The prince says he’s on your side,
But it’s really just a ruse.

P: Not true.

J: He wants to win her for himself,
And that is why he woos.

B: Come on.

J: Okay, then pull my finger;
Watch hilarity ensue.

C: No, thank you.

J: Then please allow me to imply
That your lady’s been untrue.

C: Wait, what?

J: (If I can cross him any way,
I bless myself every way.)

This is the tale
Of your mistress Hero;
Take her to wife,
And a cuckold you’ll be!

B: Take it home.

J: Disloyal’s too good
A word for the wicked;
Follow me tonight,
So you all can see.

C: Okay, turns out that Don John is a major bastard.

J: My parents weren’t married.

B: Yup.

P: Yeah, okay.

I’m a large sturdy box you can bountifully pack;
I’m a car’s handy storage that’s found in the back;
I’m the thick wooden prize for a strong lumberjack;
And an elephant’s nose that makes peanut shells crack.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

Last night, PBS and the Folger Shakespeare Library hosted a Twitter party, a real-time online conversation about teaching Shakespeare with experts from the Folger and teachers from across the country. It was a great opportunity to connect with like-minded educators and share innovative practices, although, because it was on Twitter, the party was most definitely BYOB.

I had the opportunity to share a cool project I did two years ago, and I realized that I never actually posted the final product here. Long-time readers may remember my working with a class of sixth-grade students on Antony and Cleopatra back in the spring of 2011. The students were learning about ancient Egypt in social studies, and it was a good opportunity to make connections in ELA. We did in-class readings of selected scenes and discussed how they relate to our lives and world today.

One thing that made this project a little different was that we used an online Moodle classroom to manage our unit. This school happened to be part of two unrelated projects, one that gave the students laptops in school and another that gave them desktops at home, so it was a perfect environment to experiment with blended learning models for teaching Shakespeare. I uploaded links to the scenes and additional resources we could draw from to increase our understanding, as well as message boards for each lesson, so students could continue discussing the themes of the lesson beyond the school day.

Once we finished the play, we discussed our project. My thinking was that we would make a video. The kids thought the play was like a soap opera (and that Cleopatra was a “drama queen”!) and that seemed to be a promising thread for a while. But the more we talked about the project, the more the kids wanted to go another way. They decided that they wanted to retell the story of Antony and Cleopatra through social media, which later got refined into the idea of creating Cleopatra’s Facebook page during the events of the play. The students were too young to actually go on Facebook, so our project would be an offline mock-up.

I set up an area on the Moodle classroom where students could brainstorm ideas as well as post their favorite lines from the play. We broke up into five groups, and each was assigned a different act. Each group also designed a tableau to represent their act. Actors volunteered, and were chosen to select their preferred part by random lot. We found various locations around the school to take pictures of our tableaux and Facebook profile headshots. Our costume scheme was simple: “Romans are Red, Egyptians are Blue, Cleopatra wears White, and the snake does too.” The snake, by the way, was a real snake generously lent by the science teacher, though it made our Cleopatra skittish. The actor who played the clown had the idea that he would photobomb the earlier pictures, and then appear completely serious in the final image.

Meanwhile, other students were taking the ideas posted to the Moodle classroom by each of the groups and creating a Facebook-style narrative tracing the plot of the play. A particularly tech-savvy student volunteered to put it all together in the visual style of Facebook, which she did on her own. The final product can be seen below (click for a larger image).

Enjoy!

This is the 31st in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Rights
sung to the tune of “Lights”

(With apologies to Ellie Goulding, and those planning to read King John… SPOILERS!)

I claimed divine rights,
Ruling here on my own.
There is a vague threat,
But the king will not be overthrown.

And I’m not sleeping now;
The French king has forced my hand.
And if I’m staying strong,
I must do something drastic.

You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
And so I tell my man he must be strong,
Inform me when he’s gone.

And he’s falling, falling, falling way down,
Falling, falling, falling, down.
You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
Oh-oh-oh…

I never thought
I would be king;
Never owned land,
As I’m the youngest brother.

But that changed quickly when
My father and my brothers died:
Now the Bastard is
The only nephew who’s safe.

You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
And so I tell my man he must be strong,
Inform me when he’s gone.

And he’s falling, falling, falling way down,
Falling, falling, falling, down.
You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
Oh-oh-oh…

I’m a sports-cheating substance that frequently shames;
The electrical current that powers your games;
I’m a drink from the fruit; I am Orenthal James;
And the cred on the street that a heavyweight claims.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.