I’m a witty riposte; I’m the punch of a joke;
I’m the words in a play that a character spoke;
I am customers waiting; a serving of coke;
And a string used in fishing that’s easily broke.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Fermi. See comments for answer.

with apologies to Elizabeth Bishop

This is a school in Brooklyn.

This is a student out in the yard
Who needs his Student Metrocard
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

These are the books that are much too hard
For the struggling student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is a principal with budget cut short
Who is forced to scale back and is needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the curious student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is the yearly progress report
For the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the sleeping student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is the panel that serves as a Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the hard-working student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is the Mayor who’s closing the schools
And like it or not we must follow his rules
For he chooses eight of thirteen on the Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the faceless student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is a city in fiscal dismay
That inflated its scores for Election Day
To support the Mayor who picks the Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the hungry student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is a state that pulls funds away
From its largest city in fiscal dismay
That elects the Mayor who picks the Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the creative student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is the Congress with heavy mandate
That sends rules but not money to the crowded state
That diverts precious funds away
From its largest city in fiscal dismay
That elects the Mayor who picks the Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the failing student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

This is a country that lives only to borrow
And spend money on yesterday, not on tomorrow,
With the help of the Congress with heavy mandate
That sends rules but not money to the crowded state
That diverts precious funds away
From its largest city in fiscal dismay
That elects the Mayor who picks the Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the brilliant student who needs a card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

These are the teachers who catch the blame,
Year after year it is always the same,
In a country so broke it must constantly borrow
And spend money on yesterday, not on tomorrow,
With the help of the Congress with heavy mandate
That sends rules but not money to the crowded state
That diverts precious funds away
From its largest city in fiscal dismay
That elects the Mayor who picks the Board
That looks at the tests to see how we scored
To issue a yearly progress report
To the desperate principal needing support
To replace the books that are much too hard
For the innocent student who’s losing his card
To get to his school in Brooklyn.

I’m what loans always cost you; what savings can make;
I’m what draws your attention to snap you awake;
I’m romantic potential; your claim to a stake;
And a subject or hobby you choose to partake.

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’m found up in the air, on the birds, on the planes;
I’m a unit of squadrons the Air Force maintains;
In the West, I’m a place where the Oval remains;
And to lack preparation, but count on your brains.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I am clothes that pair well when the color’s the same;
The deliberate joining of sire and dame;
A contention of athletes; the last tennis game;
And a stick in a book with potential to flame.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

Though you call me a veggie, I’m really a fruit;
I’m a racquet-ball game with a healthy repute;
I’m to put down, suppress, or just crush with a boot;
And a drink that has water and juice at its root.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’m an army of angels; I’m bread that is blessed;
I’m a taker of graft; and I welcome a guest;
I run point on a talk show or singing contest;
And the ill-fated body a demon possessed.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’m a unit of stock in a platinum mine;
I’m to access the music of others online;
The percentage of viewers the Nielsens assign;
And when you and your date drink a bottle of wine.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’m an alloy that’s used to make serious tacks;
I’m a trumpet, trombone, bugle, tuba, or sax;
When a person is bold in the way that he acts;
Or the top-ranking leaders commanding attacks.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

Riddle me this…

I’m a mammal with sonar – my flight never crashes;
I am useful in baseball; or winning the Ashes;
I’m to toss an idea; or to flutter one’s lashes;
And for young Jewish girls, I’m a reason for bashes.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.