I’m the zest in your cocktail; a dance for the hip;
I’m an orphan from Dickens; rotate in a flip;
I’m distorting a quote; remove lids with your grip;
I’m a shift in the plot; and an ankle-sprain trip.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Austin. See comments for answer.

Over the past two weeks, we’ve been hearing increasingly disturbing reports about conditions in the detention centers along the border. On Monday, a group from Congress went to visit these camps, and they found the claims to be true. According to Mother Jones, the House representatives report the situation is dire:

The testimony from members of Congress who had the rare chance to visit three Border Patrol facilities in Texas this week has been damning: detained women instructed to drink from toilets, pervasive verbal harassment by guards, and conditions that, for many, confirmed their worst fears of the Trump administration’s cruelty at the border.

The president for his part insists that he inherited the family separation policy that led to this situation from the Obama administration. This is, for lack of a better term, a complete bald-faced lie. The Trump administration would have you believe that this is a continuation of the Obama policy and that they were overwhelmed by a sudden increase in people trying to enter illegally. But they volunteered for this job. This situation was created by a policy of his own administration called “zero tolerance.” This meant, in theory, the arrest of anyone attempting to cross the border, but in practice, it included people legally seeking asylum as well.

Under the Obama administration, illegal border crossings were treated as a misdemeanor. Arrests were reserved for those suspected of serious crimes, like trafficking, and those rare instances did involve family separations. However, these were temporary. Under Trump’s policy, the family separations range in the thousands, and because of inadequate record-keeping, the families may not be reunited. Ever.

There is plenty of evidence to suggest that the cruelty being inflicted on the detainees is not due to a lack of resources, but rather, a deliberate policy choice. A Trump administration lawyer actually argued in court that they weren’t legally obligated to provide soap and toothpaste to detainees. What’s important to remember is that these are children. Their parents did not commit a felony in bringing them here. And even if they had, it would still be our obligation to treat them humanely. Desperately trying to defend the president’s policy, Brian Kilmeade accidentally said the quiet part out loud when he made the case to his viewers that everything’s okay, because these are not our kids.

Notice how he also frames the current crisis as being a result of increased immigration, rather than a deliberate policy decision, while at the same time affirming that the president is trying to send a message. When Kirstjen Nielsen, then Secretary of Homeland Security, was asked last year if the family separation policy was meant as a deliberate deterrent, she was shocked and insulted, and walked away as reporters continued to ask her the question. However, according to then-Chief of Staff John Kelly, it was intended as a deterrent. Cruelty, it would seem, is the whole point.

This intentional performative cruelty has not only created a culture of viciousness among his supporters, but it has also permeated among those tasked with taking care of the detainees. Last week, ProPublica published an exposé of a secret Facebook page for current and former Border Patrol agents that revealed a mocking disdain for the detainees. The stench is noxious, but the fish rots from the head.

We can argue about whether or not our nation’s immigration policy has been strong enough, but no matter where you stand on that issue, the answer isn’t this. You can’t just say “Well, they broke the law” or “Blame the Dems” while families are being ripped apart and children languish in squalor. One hundred years from now, our children’s grandchildren will study this moment alongside the Japanese internment camps as a cautionary tale. We’re already there. Because it’s truly breathtaking that we’re committing such flagrant human rights violations so brazenly out in the open with so little public backlash.

This president likes to strut like a prizefighter, but he has a glass jaw. He will cave to public pressure, as he has done so many times before. We can’t lose our stomachs for this fight. Democrats have one chamber of Congress and the public microphone that goes along with a primary election. We are not without a voice here.

From Henry VI, Part Three:

And there it doth remain,
The saddest spectacle that e’er I view’d.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Let’s eradicate the set dirt-ridden hate camp.

We have to end this.

I’m thrown down by a ref for a rule violation;
I cut notes in half when in music notation;
Tag message board posts that will need moderation;
And wave me today to show pride in our nation!

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Rebecca. See comments for answer.

After a six-year hiatus, Pic Tac Toe is back — rested and ready!

In a Pic Tac Toe puzzle, there are nine pictures in a three-by-three grid, like Tic-Tac-Toe. In each row, column, and diagonal, there is a common theme that unites the three pictures. The challenge is to find the eight themes.

You can click on each image to see the image source, which may help with identification.

Please post whatever you come up with in the comments section.

Enjoy!

UPDATE: All eight correct themes provided by Jeff. See comments for all correct themes.

I work as a consultant to schools, which quite often puts me in the role of an instructional coach for teachers. You might have assumed that I’m independently wealthy from all of that sweet Thursday Morning Riddle money, but I find that having a day job is a pleasant distraction from counting my yachts. I’ve been in the job for 24 years, and still going strong!

A couple of years ago, I was meeting with two young teachers in a middle school in Brooklyn. I had coached each of them for about a year and a half. Normally, we would meet individually, but today there was a schedule disruption, and the three of us were meeting together.

Ms. F started the meeting by saying, “I did what you told me to do, and it worked!” “That’s great,” I responded, “what did I tell you to do?” I work with a lot of teachers, and don’t necessarily remember every conversation.

She said that I had told her to give her students a glossary of Tier II words to help them access a text. That’s something I suggest often. She added, “And I made the definitions really simple, too!” I was very pleased with that. “Oh, that’s a really good idea. There’s nothing worse than looking at a glossary to help you with a word, only to find you don’t understand the definition either.” Her voice went flat as she reminded me, “Yeah, that’s what you said.” I felt bad that I didn’t remember our conversation, so I replied, “Well, I really just go around to schools and repeat the same eight things over and over.”

It was a joke, a deflection to cover my embarrassment. But then Ms. F and Ms. S decided to sit down and make a list of the eight things I repeat over and over. And with the same giddiness that their students would exhibit if asked to do impressions of them, the two of them brainstormed the following list:

They were mocking me, yes, but I actually felt affirmed by the exercise, since the list they came up with was both an accurate caricature of my coaching propensities and a fairly good list of high-leverage practices that would improve the quality of instruction in most schools. And they had heard me.

But at the same time, it made me self-conscious (in a good way) about the work I do in schools. If I were to make my own list of eight things, even two years later, it probably wouldn’t be too much different than the list they made. And where the two lists might differ, the teachers’ list would have more credibility, since the gap would be between the coach I wish I was, and the coach that actually appears in practice.

Now that summer is here and I have a little more time to write, I thought it might be fun to revisit the list, and reflect on some of these “teacher moves” that lead to increased student learning. Maybe it could be a new weekly feature. The list is finite, and I might not even do them all, but I can’t think of a better writing prompt to keep my head in the game during the two month vacation. Even coaches get summer learning loss.

I’m the staff you might use when a flock you would tend;
I am found on a woodwind: you blow on my end;
I’m the hunch on a back; in a neck, I’m a bend;
And a robber of banks the police apprehend.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’m a mollusk, like snails, but a shell I have not;
I am slang for a bullet just after it’s shot;
I’m a counterfeit coin used for tricking a slot;
And to punch in the face when the tension grows hot.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Bronx Richie. See comments for answer.

U.S. Congress has two; while a judge will have one;
Human hearts contain four; there are six in a gun;
I’m a pot used to piss; indoor music for fun;
And the place where a gas execution is done.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’ve been resisting supporting impeachment (rhetorical jokes aside) because I think it’s generally harmful for the country, and all for what? President Mike Pence?

Even when the Mueller report was released, detailing an abundance of evidence of obstruction by the president, and an explicit invitation for Congress to take up the baton (volume 2, page 8), I still wasn’t fully convinced that impeachment was the best option.

I’ve now come around. His behavior since the Mueller report was completed has been far worse than anything that’s in the report, and that’s already a high bar. The difference now is that if his power isn’t checked, it could do long lasting damage to our democracy. President Pence would be bad, but we’d survive it.

The dishonest release of the Mueller findings was just the beginning. We then saw a blanket denial of all Congressional subpoenas for documents and testimony. He’s now starting a ridiculous mock investigation into the FBI to further the cover-up of his crimes. What is impeachment for, if not for this?

In other times, the President of the United States knowingly spreading doctored videos of the Speaker of the House to make her appear drunk or impaired would be the worst thing he did this week. Now, it barely makes the list.

And if he loses in court and a judge tells him to release the documents, and he still refuses, then impeachment may not be the best option. It might be the only option. And who knows what happens next?

From Macbeth:

And you all know, security
Is mortals’ chiefest enemy.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Motherfucker lousily escalates a snowy indemnity.

Sorry about the language. That’s just how the letters worked out. And civility is so 2018.